Matt's Blog

Spring

2010-03-19T21:43:00.001-04:00

I think this recent, albeit short, bout of warm weather was for me. The Lord so decided to arrange it to encourage me. Sorry to burst your bubble on that, if you were thinking it was for you, or otherwise, but it was for me. I really, really needed it.
  This morning, in our Staff Chapel service at work, my friend Jon Long lead us in worship and felt that God was taking us into a Spring-like season in our lives and hearts, not just in the weather. I really feel truth in that (spot on Jon!). It's amazing how the warm weather has just brightened people's spirits! It's certainly brightened mine.

  This will be my first Spring in the High Park area, and I'm just delighted to be here. Soon the trees will grow their leaves again, the grass will glow green again, and the smell of fresh plant life will be in the air. It makes me happy just thinking about it! God is so good to me, having me here. My apartment is perfect for me. My roommate is great, my area is great, my apartment is great, my friends are SUPER AWESOME great, my church is great, my family is great, my work is great. I'm so flipping blessed!!!
  It's interesting how the warm, fresh weather has brought all my blessings to my attention. I don't know exactly why it makes me feel so elated, but who cares, it's great!

Mr. Spring

oh what great gifts he brings, Mr. Spring

the smell in the air filled with new life

songs for birds, the warmth of the sun, grass that's green

colourful flowers too!

he brings the rain and the ground drinks deep

the trees start to dance and come alive with his joy

and even the waters cannot be still any more

all of nature rejoices, it's their party time

what a tease he is, that Spring!

a warm day here, a gentle breeze there

he builds our anticipation

and when we're most longing for him he makes us wait a little more

I know you are close, so hurry up Spring

stop making us wait

bring us your splendour and your exuberance again!

we are waiting, waiting, waiting...

waiting for you, Mr. Spring

-Matt Mitchell

I just loooove starting blogs!

2010-02-09T19:40:00.002-05:00

And I have a new one.
It's a blog specifically for us bachelors, full of tips and tricks and musings from yours truly.

check it out.

The Bachelor Guide: The How-to blog for Bachelors in the City

Cheers!

Live. Love. Dream.

2009-12-06T13:00:00.002-05:00

Live fully.
Live intentionally.
Live righteously.

Love truly.
Love deeply.
Love freely.

Dream big.
Dream high.
Dream often.

Powerless

2009-11-30T21:47:00.000-05:00

The power went out in my neighbourhood today for a few hours.
I came home in the dark, to a dark apartment. And since there was no power, I simply (using my iPhone as night light) went to the washroom to pee, dropped off my stuff and went to cell.
I was thinking, briefly, about the scripture in the Bible where it says, "in our weakness he is strong," or in the NLT, "My power works best in weakness." Paul then goes on to say how he rejoices in his weakness so that Christ's power can do it's thing.
I began to think of the parallel at work in the High Park area. Here we are, here I am, and I have no power of my own. I'm incapable of doing anything, really. There's no power to do it with. I'm completely devoid of it. That was when I felt the Holy Spirit remind me of that passage. I was totally at peace. I knew that everything was going to be okay. I mean, it's not like a power outage in Toronto is ever that big a deal, they don't generally last long, and I had to go out and have cell anyway, but I was just reminded of how God has all the power I need. I have power, yes, but only through him. HE is my power. Without him, I'm powerless, hopeless.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed that. Remember to enjoy your powerlessness and embrace his power (which becomes yours, yes, but you get the point).

As...

2009-11-25T22:00:00.004-05:00

As a creation, made by God my Creator, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm doing something creative.

As a lover, in relationship with God who is Love, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm giving or getting love.

As an intellectual being, learning from God who is Truth, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm discovering something new.

As a man and a warrior, in service to God my Great Warrior and King, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm fighting for goodness and righteousness.

As a leader, under the authority of God my Leader, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm leading someone or something deeper into a life-changing, world-changing movement.

As a servant, in debt to God my (kind) Master, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm serving someone in their moment of need or greatness.

As a redeemed, righteous temple for Holy Spirit, the spirit of God, I can't help but feel a little more like him when I'm choosing righteousness over compromise.

As Matt Mitchell, the Matt Mitchell who is in and of and one with God, I can't help but feel a little more like him, when I'm becoming more and more the Matt Mitchell I'm made to be.

Genesis 1:27a - "So God created human beings in his own image." (NLT)

Esther 4:14b - "And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion" (AMP)

Acts 17:27-28 - "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'" (NIV)

Ephesians 5:1 - "Imitate God therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children." (NLT)

Redemption

2009-10-14T22:19:00.001-04:00

the harder the attack, the greater is the victory
the more devastating the loss, the better is the redemption
the dryer the desert, the more bountiful is the harvest
the deeper the persecution, the more beautiful is the reward
the darker the path, the brighter is the future
the tougher the season, the more joyous is the breakthrough
the more painful the death, the greater is the resurrection

Matt

The Law

2009-10-04T15:35:00.001-04:00

I was on the bus today, thinking about how driving and how some people
just do stupid, sometimes illegal things. I thought about how one of
the typical "road ragey" driver lines for such an instance is,
"doesn't he know how to drive!? Doesn't he know the law!?"
It's funny how people understand why the government makes laws to help
protect us and keep us safe, to keep society on track, so to speak.
Than I thought about how God has done the same thing with laws for us
for life and yet people don't seem to get that.
It's interesting how people look at God's laws. I think people see
them as something to be obtained, as though the completion and
obedience of the law is the destination of life, the outcome. Again, I
wondered how people don't make the connection. The laws of the road
aren't our destination, they're guidelines to help us (everyone) get
to our destination. It's the same with God's laws. Obeying his
commandments isn't our goal as Christians or humans, obeying his
commandments is a tool to help us to get there successfully. The
destination is intimate relationship with him.
As Bobby Conner would say, "Ain't he good!"

Matt

As the season changes

2009-09-30T21:19:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I last blogged. Lots has happened in a short amount of time, I suppose. I'll start with the biggest piece of Matt Mitchell news...

I've been wanting to move out for a while and started pursuing different options to see what I could do. A member of my family offered to give me first and last months' rent, which totally enabled me to move, so I just needed to find roommate(s) and a place that I could afford. It wasn't looking all that great, to be honest. I was looking in the Bloor West/High Park/Roncesvalles area and wasn't having much luck in finding something affordable that worked for me and the potential roomies. A friend of mine recommended another friend of mine (the awesome James Sangster) to me who was looking to move out at the same time. I contacted James and we saw a couple places, neither of which really had us. We decided to let them drop and not apply for them, believing God had better for us. Then we found a great place across from High Park for a deal we couldn't pass up. We loved it upon seeing it and decided to apply. All in all, we were signed and locked in in four days!

God is so good. He totally got a deal for me and James that worked for the both of us financially and otherwise. I'm so incredibly blessed and thankful to be living where I am, in this amazing apartment with an awesome man of God for a roommate. I love the neighbourhood. It has tonnes of great pubs, restaurants, coffee/tea shops, bakeries, fruit markets, and other great stuff. A lot of my friends are also in the area, and I love living near them and being a part of a community with them- a part of a community I want to build and grow and expand. I look forward to the next year or more living here and will certainly have lots more to blog about over that time. I'm looking forward to meeting my neighbours and telling them about what I do and who I am and about how awesome Jesus is. I'm looking forward to learning to cook new things for myself and organize my life and finances further. I'm looking forward to growing in relationship with James as a roommate and friend. I'm looking forward to having people over and learning about being a good host. I'm looking forward to using this place as a medium make people feel welcome and loved. I'm looking forward to the ways that God is going to stretch and grow me as a person providing for himself. I'm looking forward to experiencing a whole new stage of life, basically, and God is totally awesome in helping me through all this.

Speaking of new life stages, with the sudden change in weather, I'm reminded of how everything is different from one season to another. It's much like this with life (Mark and Beth Hardy preached an AWESOME last message on this kind of thing at TACF North York on Sunday). It's so very different living away from home than it was with my family. It feels amazing. I'm so thankful to God for this change of season in my life, because He's doing amazing things in my heart and is totally showing me his goodness in this season and I feel happier than I have in a long time. Through this and other things he's done and is doing, He's really done a lot in my heart. He's really put to rest a lot of my fear and doubt and frustration and anger and sadness. He's really showed me that he does still love me and want to help me out. And He's put a new spark of love in my heart.
Sure, it's tighter financially. Moving costs money and I don't have as much pocket money as I used to, but God is teaching me wisdom with my money, and I'm doing my part to walk that wisdom out. Part of this move is based in faith, so I'm really excited to see how God opens doors and shows me his providence and favour as I've stepped into a new time in my life that he's called me to.

People keep asking me how I'm doing, and I just can't help but answer, "Excellent! Really excellent!"

Thank you so much Jesus for the shower of blessings you've poured on me!

And thanks to all of you who were praying for me when I was looking for a place and calling out to God to come and show me his goodness and move in a big way in my life. He's definitely come through with more than I could've asked for.

Anyway, I'm off for now.

Cheers!

Matt

"Heart Knowledge"

2009-07-19T22:50:00.005-04:00

We use a lot of buzzwords around the church, especially at TACF. It's not a bad thing, it's just funny how many there are. One of the phrases we use is "knowing something in your heart." This is different from knowing something in your head. Here's how:

You can know something in your head, but not live a life that shows that you believe that is true. You can know it in your head, but have no real depth of understanding in it. You can know it in your head, but have no feeling of certainty in your heart. Does this make sense? Do you get me here? (most of you probably will, as you've probably heard it before.)

Recently, a lot of things that used to be heart knowledge seemed to have been shaken in their place and are now sitting in the "head knowledge" realm. It's been really unsettling. I went through a few weeks where I was progressively struggling more and more with simple beliefs and feelings and truths that gave me much strength and comfort. This started to cause a lot of trouble in my relationship with God. I don't know if these things were being shaken so that they can be resettled with more conviction, more truth, more revelation. I'm not sure. I'm still kind of trying to get them back there. Truth be told, even though things are starting to feel better, I'm still not quite sure of these things that have been losing hold. I'm not quite sure I even remember the process of translating knowledge from head to heart. I've forgotten how that twelve-ish inch journey is made. I think, for things having to do with God, it requires the Holy Spirit. Maybe I need more of Holy Spirit?

It's scary when all of the sudden God's love is just a piece of knowledge and not a place in your heart. It's scary when your identity in him is suddenly a matter of fact and not a matter of confidence. It's really hard when his goodness is an idea and not a comfort. When you feel abandoned and lonely and separated from his presence, his voice, his heart, his love, what do you do? It's even harder when you feel like you don't have people to turn to. And at this point, even the people you do have to turn to seem far away, and your views of God and yourself and your friends are all skewed by the turmoil of your heart.

What's one to do? I guess you just have to truck through. I don't know how to give up on God. I know how it feels to want to, but I don't know how to actually do it. To abandon him completely doesn't seem like something I can wrap my heard around.

I'm still waiting for a lot of this to settle again, it all still seems in transit somewhere. Lost, fragmented, and hurt. But even if in my heart I don't feel it, something in me, even if it's just head knowledge, knows he's good and he loves me. Let's see how God uses that to build my heart.

How about you? Do you know how this feels? Has God been shaking your heart knowledge? Or maybe your head knowledge? Or maybe even everything you know?

Mosquito Bites

2009-07-14T21:20:00.004-04:00

I was at a cottage this weekend past relaxing with family and just chilling and got a few mosquito bites. And you know, I realized something...

God put Mosquitoes on Earth to teach us about temptation and sin. I'm just sure of it.

Here's why...

Let's say that the mosquito is like the devil. Him trying to bite you, or biting you, is temptation, and that scratching that itchy bug bite is sin.

Let's work backwards.

You know how when you get a mosquito bite, you feel it and you see it and then you feel that itch? What then happens? You scratch it. Why? Because it feels... good! YES! It feels so good!

But what happens when you start scratching that pesky mosquito puncture? You want to scratch it more! And so you do. You keep scratching until it's this big red blotch on you and it's driving you crazy. The only reason you stop scratching is it because you remind yourself that if you continue scratching, you'll eventually scratch the skin off.

I think this is kind of like temptation and sin. You're tempted to scratch that little mosquito bite because something in your flesh is like "oooh, it's bugging me (no pun intended) and it will feel sooooo good! I'll just scratch it a little bit." Then, this little, mostly hidden mosquito bite you started scratching just a little bit, is this giant welt of a thing that's the size of a toonie. You suddenly have this giant red spot on you that drives you crazy. You can't stop thinking about how irritated and itchy it is, and if you don't put something on it (I recommend Aloe Vera lotion or Afterbite), you will scratch so long and so hard that you'll make yourself bleed.

Sin does this. You start by just doing it a little, "it won't hurt anyone," you say, and you just like "try it out" or something. Then, you realize how good sin feels to your flesh, and you keep going. You "just can't help it."

And then you get to the point when you look down (on your hand or your foot, let's say. STUPID foot bites!) and you see the mess you've created for yourself. All the sudden you have this giant, throbbing, red sore mass on you that people can see and tell that you've been scratching. All the sudden, what was a hidden guilty pleasure is this ugly, obvious spot on you that drives you crazy. How many times have we seen this happen in people's lives? If only if I'd put something on it and stopped myself from scratching it, it would've gone away in hurry! (the mosquito bite, that is) If only I'd been more diligent to protect myself from getting bitten by that mosquito in the first place!

You see, it all makes sense, doesn't it? Mosquitoes are here on earth to teach us to be careful about giving into temptation and falling into sin. It's not the temptation that's the sin. You can't always help being tempted (you can do things to put yourself in tempting situations though, and do things to help you not be tempted), but you can ask God for strength and help to fight off that temptation and keep away from falling into the trap of continually scratching and scratching and being stuck in that habit.

Think about it...

True Community Two

2009-06-16T17:58:00.006-04:00

NOTE: I've just re-read this blog, and it's really just a more intense, in-depth, slightly more emotional version of my last blog on community. Pardon this, the only reason of this is, though my views on the topic have not changed, my frustration has increased. Anyway, if you would still like to read this, go ahead, and please comment, but you've heard it before. :-)

I've been toying with the idea of a follow up on my last blog on my thoughts on "true community", and have made the decision to do it today. It's a bit of a tricky thing for me to blog about, because I have strong feelings and beliefs on the topic, and those feelings could be challenging for some, or many. But, since it is something I'm so passionate about, and since the last one went over so well, I'll continue with this sequel.

I think our society, our culture, our routines, whatever you want to call them, here (in Toronto/the urban Western World) are (becoming more and more) anti-community and relationship. It seems to me that the life of an individual or couple or family seems to have a lot of focus on activity and being busy and "making your way in way", and as this pattern progresses, there is less and less time and focus for relationship and community.

I recently figured out that most of the "community" I experience, and most of my friendships (the vast majority, actually) are dependent on happenstance or common commitments/places of regular attendance. Things like church, work, and small group seem to be the "glue" of commitment in all but a small few of my relationships.
I used to be really good at being the glue. I used to make regular phone calls to probably about a dozen people. I'd call and/or email, text message, and facebook probably somewhere from twice a month to weekly, depending on the person. The return on these communications from people, most of whom those I was/am close, to, was quite low. Sometimes it would be a couple months before hearing back from them.
I stopped trying. I had to make the decision that I can't put in the effort for both sides of the relationship, it's just too hard on the heart.
Now, I'm not trying to accumulate pity points or shine a light in your face or make you feel guilty or anything of the sort. I'm over it, people aren't that great at relationship. We live in a fallen world with hurt and imperfect people, and not everyone sees relationship the same way I do.

Why am I going on and on with this then? Let me get back to my original point.

I believe that true community keeps itself going by the sustaining effort, spontaneity, and commitment from its members. You can live in a community and never take part in any activities; never go over to anyone's house for coffee; never go to any barbeques or pool parties; never go to church together; never help someone move house; never help someone take care of their kids or their chores; never really have any meaningful or relational time with anyone at all for, as far as I can think of, the following reasons:

It could be that you are invited, and these things are all happening, but you're just not able or interested to.

or

If the other people in your community are doing those things with each other out of their own love and commitment to one another, and you're never invited because they're comfortable with what they've got going and don't care for opening up to anyone new, than you have a clique.

or

Maybe you're never invited to any of these things because no one does them, because everyone's just looking after themselves. I think if that's the case, then you really don't have a true community at all. You just have a group of people living in the same building/area. Perhaps you build some relationship with the people in your community during regular activities put on by the landlord of your apartment, and you attend meetings for attendees, and see people in the elevator and say hello and goodbye there because you leave the house at the same time every morning.
You could move to another area of the city, and probably never hear from anyone in that old community again.

I kind of feel like I'm in that last one. I feel like if I worked somewhere else and stopped attending my church, TACF, that I'd never hear from about 90% of all my friends, and probably a good three quarters of my closer friends. (TACF is a great church, by the way. No church is perfect, but this one is awesome.)

I mean, to be honest, I moved to TACF a couple years ago, and after I did, I almost never heard from the people from my old church, and I still pretty much never do. And to continue in honesty, I've stopped missing them. I had to. To continue to give a place in my heart to people who seem to have no interest in continuing to have relationship with me is just too hard, it's not healthy.

It seems if relationship isn't convenient, it's not happening. If it comes at a cost of time and effort and reciprocity and spontaneity and giving of yourself outside of happenstances, it's not worth it, and dare I say, it seems we're okay with that. Sure, people say how much they love community, but I think that people love it in theory; they love the concept of it. Actually making it happen, the attitude seems to be "that's a bit too hard thanks, I'll stick with my happenstance-style community."

I wonder if the people in Acts 2 had chosen this mentality if they would have continued to follow the disciples teachings and bring people into the Kingdom of God daily. I wonder how we can expect to do that if we continue on this way.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this entry.

Cheers!

-Matt

Gospel Music

2009-04-30T16:24:00.002-04:00

You know, I love gospel music.

I'm sitting here at work (don't tell anybody I'm blogging at work) listening to gospel music as I do mindless data entry and am just enjoying myself. I'm dancing in my chair and feeling good.

I think I want to join a gospel choir. Every gospel choir needs a white boy right?

Good ol' gospel!

One Man, One Blog

2009-04-20T22:06:00.001-04:00

So,

I've decided to merge my "life blog" and my "devotional blog".

I am not Matt the Christian, and Matt the person. I'm Matt the Christian person. God is in all of my life, so why separate the God stuff from everything else?

I've imported all of my old devotional blogs to this one and set the devotion blog to forward here.

Expect many more musing from the mind of Matt to come.

God is always up to something!

Cheers!

Matt

True Community

2009-03-17T21:50:00.003-04:00

I believe that true community is the integration of others into your every day life.

I think it means making people a real part of your journey on this earth. It's not just in the big things, like long talks, sharing burdens, helping each other out at our lowest, and partying at our best. It's eating dinner together, going out for lunch together, hanging out and watching TV together, doing chores together, sharing your hobbies with each other. Things like that.

I think that true community is making an effort, and being somewhat spontaneous, not just seeing each other at meetings and gatherings. If the only community we have with each other is church and/or cell, and we don't make an effort to integrate one another into the day-to-day, we're really just two people who happen to like to chat at a meeting we both happen to attend.

I know a bunch of people who really love community, and love to talk about community, but I don't really see the evidence of this true (and Biblical) community in their lives. It's these same people who always talk about community, but don't seem to have it in their schedule.

Community comes at a price, you see. It comes at the price of giving up your time and resources, and essentially, a part of your life, to others. It requires sacrifice at times, especially at those times when certain members seem to be more at need.

I've been thinking on the topic of loneliness recently, and on the topic of community.

I think that in a true community, people don't feel lonely and separated from the others (all unGodly beliefs, etc. aside).

This is the kind community I want to be a part of. I hope you do too.

Acts 2:42-47 is a great example of a true community, one that seemed to mean that people integrated one another into their lives daily and it seems that that community of love and fellowship seemed to thrive (as God was adding to their numbers daily). Now, I think that due to culture and other factors, daily community is a bit much for us here in the Western world. That being said, I think we use our busyness as an excuse. I know I have. And though I want to be a part of a thriving, loving, inclusive and pervasive community, I can't do it alone. Anyone out there wanting to help a brother out?

Just some thoughts from the heart and head of Matt Mitchell here. These are just my opinions based on observations in my own life, and my thoughts on what the Bible has to say on it. Let me know what you think eh.

Truth

2009-02-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

I'd just like to say one simple thing that I believe.

"Nothing should be preached from a pulpit with the same conviction and tone of truth as Biblical truth."

It's my belief, observation, whatever, that we as Christians are in the habit of preaching our local church culture, policy, experience, and opinion (with Biblical basis of different degrees being regardless) with the same conviction and tone as we do direct Biblical truth. I don't think that's good.

Feel free to tell me what you think on this...

Stop whining

2009-01-17T12:36:00.000-05:00

God doesn't want us to complain, he wants us to contend.

-Matt Mitchell

I'm a hugger, what can I say?

2009-01-13T21:58:00.003-05:00

So, I'm watching one of my favourite tv shows, Scrubs, and on Scrubs, they tend to make extreme and quirky one-time characters. On the episode of Scrubs I just watched, the quirky character is "Jimmy the overly touchy resident". Jimmy tends to come up behind people and give 'em a hug of squeeze or feel of the sort.
I have to admit, this quirky, crazy, touchy-feely guy reminds me much of myself. I express myself physically to people I love, what can I say? I love a good hug! I'm not a really conservative or reserved person, so I have no problems with hugs and such, and I think that's good!
I'm a hugger, what can I say?

"Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers hug!" -from the movie "Tommy Boy"

Matt

Objects of Affection for the Spending of my Time

2009-01-01T15:35:00.001-05:00

I love spending time with...

God
Friends, close and acquantance
My guitar
My family
Music
Books

Matt

"I love you." Just three words. Or not?

2008-12-27T22:37:00.005-05:00

"I love you." It's a strange sentence. Why is it so awkward to say? Or is it just me?

I find it awkward saying it to even my own family and closest friends. It's also a little awkward to hear, isn't it? As children, it seems to come easier. Perhaps it's because our view of love as children is so much simpler. You're nice, you make my life good and I enjoy spending time with you. That's the child's view of love. So as long as you meet those criteria, after a short time, you can probably hear a small child saying that he or she loves you. All that the dictionary defines it as are:

1.) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

(Those are the top two definitions)

Our view of love seems to be more complicated though. Or is it? Forgive my backpedaling, I'm writing as I'm thinking (which is the way to blog, I think.) Is love as an adult actually more complicated than that, or just the conditions that we allow ourselves to admit that we love?
I can't think of much more to add to love than that. I mean, there is SO much more to love than that. There's selflessness for the other, there's a desire to serve and give to and live for that person with all that you have. There's being completely comfortable around that person and being able to be yourself and expect them to do the same. There's a lot to loving someone. But at the core, isn't it really just, you make my life good and I enjoy spending time with you? If those things really are true about that person, isn't there some feeling of like involved? Now, there needs to be a profound or intense degree of those things for it to be love, and not just like, but if I think of it, I love the people I love because they are amazing people who I love spending time with them and they make my life (and my self) better with their presence. I love people for who they are. If I think of someone in particular that I love, and ask myself why I love them, I start to think of all their amazing attributes and all the amazing things they've done for me in my life.
So, in the end, I don't think it's actually the word love that makes it awkward to say, I think it's the implications. Which is back to the point I was originally going to make, it's not love that's actually complicated, it's our experiences and feelings and beliefs about love that make it complicated, and then make it awkward to say or hear.
It's awkward for me to say to even my closest guy friends, "I love you buddy." Now, my friends will tell you I'm lying, because I do say it, and it seems to come quite easily, but it actually doesn't. It seems like it comes quite easy because it's not that awkward. I push past the awkwardness quite easily, actually. There's still just that little bit of awkwardness though.
I'm not lying when I say it. I'm not implying anything more than that I think they're awesome and I enjoy spending time with them and that they make my life great. They know that. They know these things, and they hear me say, "I love you," often. So they probably would wonder why I'd say I find it awkward. It simply has to do with my past with that word. Both with what has been associated with it and what hasn't.
I think this is what makes love hard to face for all of us. With the greatest affection for someone else comes the greatest risk of hurt. With the greatest affection for someone else comes the most selflessness and self-sacrificing thoughts and feelings and actions. With the greatest affection for someone else comes the most vulnerability and openness. These can be scary things. Often we've had bad experiences or experienced bad things on others' behalf on the topic of love. Sometimes we trust in our fear of these things more than the person we love, or in love itself. I think that that is where the fear of love, especially of admitting it, comes from. Once we deal with our fears and false expectations of self, others, and ultimately, love, we can move on and really allow ourselves to love and be loved, and to go forth saying and hearing in perfect confidence, "I love you."
I'm working on it. God is helping. Friends are helping. I'm working on it, are you? Would you like to?

-Matt

'Christian'

2008-12-26T20:07:00.000-05:00

I just bought C.S. Lewis' 'Mere Christianity.' I've only made it to the end of the first chapter, and already, I'm loving it. Expect many more blogs with quotes from this book and on the topics it discusses.
On this, the first of such blogs, I want to post on the topic of the word Christian.

From Lewis' preface:

Far deeper objections may be felt-and have been expressed-against my use of the word Christian to mean one who accepts the common doctrines of Christianity. People ask: 'Who are you, to lay down who is, and who is not a Christian?' or 'May not many a man who cannot believe these doctrines be far more truly a Christian, far closer to the spirit of Christ, than some who do?' Now this objection is in one sense very right, very charitable, very spiritual, very sensitive. It has every available quality except that of being useful. We simply cannot , without disaster, use language as these objectors want us to use it. I will try to make this clear by the history of another, and very much less important, word.
The word gentlemen originally meant something recognisable; one who had a coat of arms and some landed property. When you called someone 'a gentleman' you were not paying him a compliment, but merely stating a fact. If you said he was not 'a gentleman' you were not insulting him, but giving information. There was no contradiction in saying that John was a liar and a gentleman; any more than there now is in saying that James is a fool and an M.A. But then there came people who said-so rightly, charitably, spiritually, sensitively, so anything but usefully-'Ah, but surely the important thing about a gentleman is not the coat of arms and the land, but the behaviour? Surely he is the true gentleman who behaves as a gentleman should? Surely in the sense Edward if far more truly a gentleman than John?' They meant well. To be honourable and courteous and brave is of course a far better thing than to have a coat of arms. But it is not the s ame thing. Worse still, it is not a thing everyone will agree about. To call a man 'a gentleman' in this new, refined sense, becomes, in fact, not a way of giving information about him, but a way of praising him: to deny that he is 'a gentleman' becomes simply a way of insulting him. When a word ceases to be a term of description and becomes merely a term of praise, it no longer tells you facts about the object. (A 'nice' meal only means a meal the speaker likes.) A gentleman, once it has been spiritualised and refined out of its old coarse, objective sense, means hardly more than a man whom the speaker likes. As a result, gentlean is now a uselss word. We had lots of terms of approval already, so it was not needed for that use; on the other hand if anyone (say, in a historical work) wants to use it in its old sense, he cannot do so without explanations. It has been spoiled for that purpose.
Now if once we allow people to start spiritualising and refining, or as they might say 'deepening', the sense of the word Christian, it too will speedily become a useless word. In the first place, Christians themselves will never be able to apply it to anyone. It is not for us to say who, in the deepest sense, is or is not close to the spirit of CHrist. We do not see into men's hearts. We cannot judge, and are indeed forbidden to judge. It would be wicked arrogance for us to say that any man is, or is not, a Christian in this refined sense. And obviously a word which we can never apply is not going to be a very useful word. As or the unbelievers, they will no doubt cheerfully use the word in the refind sense. It will become in their mouths simply a term of praise. In calling anyone a Christian they wil mean that they think of him a good man. But that way of using the word wll be no enrichment of the language, for we already have the word good. Meanwhile, the word Christian will have been spoiled for any really useful purpose it might have served.
We must therefore stick to the original, obvious meaning. The name Christians was first given at Antioch (Acts 11:26) to 'the disciples', to those who accpeted the teaching of the apostles. There is no question of its being restricted to those who profited by that teaching as much as they should have. There is no question of its being extended to those who in some refined, spiritual, inward fashion were 'far closer to the spirit of Christ' than the less satisfactory of the disciples. The point is not a theological or moral one. It is only a question of using words so that we an all understand what is being said. When a man who accepts the Christian doctrine lives unworthily of it, it is much clearer to say he is a bad Christian that to say he is not a Christian.

As my good friend Mark would say, "How good's that?"

I've had a debate or two on this topic, usually where the other person in the discussion is the "objector" that Lewis references. Words need to really mean something. In our culture of political correctness and the need of not merely tolerating and accepting other beliefs and point of views, but embracing and trying to somehow adopt them into our own while still maintaining just a shred of the original(s), we have stumbled upon a great predicament. How does one actually communicate what he is trying to say without saying all that he is not trying to say? In order to properly expalin or describe things, we are coming to a place of having to explain ourselves to the 'n'th degree. Things that could have easily been said in a few sentences now require entire paragraphs with prefaces and conclusions so as to be clear and polite and "charitable, spiritual, sensitive." I sometimes find this frustrating, and actually have a mixed stance on the issue. I'm one who wants everyone to feel acknowledged, heard, and understood. Part of doing that is speaking in a way that works for everyone and is clear and precise about what you are and aren't intending to communicate. While I believe in doing this, I've found I only need to because so many people don't think about the communicator's intentions, but of the words themselves alone.
This being said, I think it's up to each of us to examine what it means to us. What it means between you and God. You can use whatever term(s) you like to describe yourself and your faith to yourself, but let's keep the use of words accurate and proper, as Lewis implores.
Specifically on the point of the word Christian, this excerpt of preface has helped to give me some peace and sense on the use of it. I hope that you benefit from reading it here, and reading my thoughts on it.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T14:27:00.001-05:00

Not "Happy Holidays," but Merry Christmas.
I hope it finds you blessed, happy, and healthy.
If you don't know it yet, Jesus came to earth to be born for us and to live for us and to die for us; for our sins. And he was resurrected after three days, breaking the power of sin and death.
Because he loves us. He loves you.

Merry Christmas.

-Matt Mitchell

Doing some thinking about doing and doing what I've been thinking.

2008-12-21T01:00:00.001-05:00

I had a bit of a "revelation" recently. Why just think about and plan
what you want to do when you can actually do it? I've made some
decisions recently to do some of the things that I've wanted to do for
a little while. I've also set some timelines on some other things. A
while ago I talked to the guys in my cell group about goals and dreams
and about just going for it in life. So I've made some decisions to
start doing some things for next year. I'd like to start playing live
in coffee shops and stuff. So I'm writing more songs and practicing
more. I'm going to be taking voice lessons again shortly too. I've
started practicing some design skills on the computer again. I've made
some new spiritual commitments with some friends. I'm trying to take
better care of my health. I'm trying to be the man I want to be and do
the things I want to do.
I recently lost my last grandparent, my mom'e father. He wasn't a
Christian, but he lived his life the way he wanted. On his terms. He
did what he wanted when he wanted to do it.
It's time for me to really seize life. Another thing I really want to
do more of is talk to people about Jesus. It's fun and so important,
and is definitely something I need to do more.
Jesus never lived a hesitant life, he just went and did all the he
knew he was supposed to do. That's how I want to live. And that's
how I'm going go live. Won't you join me?

Matt

A question of existence? Sort of, but not really...

2008-11-12T23:09:00.001-05:00

Have you ever felt like you're not a real person? Perhaps that's not the best way of putting it. Do you sometimes, or maybe often, feel alone in your struggles? In your thoughts. Maybe not even in your thoughts themselves, but in the way you think them. I hope this makes sense to you, I think it does for me.
It's like a feeling of lonely uniqueness. It's a feeling of isolation and independance that you just want to do away with. It just kind of pops up here and there. You're just sitting there, going through your routine, and you just realize: "I'm me. That's all I am. It's all I have and all I can be. I'm not quite sure how much I really like it, but I'm a little alone in it."
And you're right. I mean, to an extent. I just finished watching 'About a Boy' again. It's true, no man is an island, and we all need people. It's definitely true. And I do have friends and loved ones. There are people who care about me who are there to help me out.
But I'm the only one in my head. I'm the only one in my heart (aside from God). I'm the only one who has to listen to all the crap I think. The only one who has to feel all the crap I feel. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Sometimes I wish there was someone else in there with me to tell me that it's okay to feel those things.
I envy married people. I know that even when you're married you're still alone in there, but you do have someone you can talk to about anything that comes up there. That's what I'd like. Just someone to "let in" unconditionally. How sweet would that be!?

Just some thoughts...

-Matt

An hour a day....

2008-11-02T11:39:00.002-05:00

So today is fall daylight savings time day, where our clocks go back an hour and we all wake up just a little more refreshed than normal. That is, unless you live in Saskatchewan (suckers!).
It's interesting how good I feel about having an extra hour to my day. I went to bed early and woke up late to be reminded that it was actually an hour earlier. I felt so much more productive all of the sudden. It's kinda of like being given extra time on a project, just by default.
So I had a thought; what if we set the clocks back everyday?
I guess it would end up being counter-productive. Maybe just once a week. How great would it be to get an extra hour's sleep every Sunday night? Mondays would definitely be easier for me!
Well, enjoy your extra hour and enjoy your fall & winter!

PS: I'm writing this blog via email on my iPhone!
How cool is that!?

Shalom!

Matt

What the future may hold...

2008-09-25T20:27:00.004-04:00

I don't know, but I've been thinking about it. The future that is, if that wasn't made clear by the title of this blog.
I'm in an interesting phase in life right now. I'm working full time at a job I enjoy and kind of, well, "coasting". I was looking into moving out a while ago and couldn't yet afford it. I suspect I'll be looking into it again in the new year. I've also been thinking about and researching going back to school over the past month or so. I've been looking into a degree in Communication Arts, but I'm not yet certain it's what I want to do. While I find it interesting and wouldn't mind a career in some kind of creative marketing/public relations/customer service management type of position, I'm just not really sure that it's the right thing for me. It's really just the most attractive route for schooling and career in the world I can see at the moment. I suspect this will change also. I'd like to know what I'd like to do soon, because if I am going back to school, I'd like to do it next September. I've also been thinking and praying (and made a tentative decision) about something in my future that only two people know about, and I'm afraid that this will have to be a bit of a cliffhanger until later in time when this thing arises.
The biggest dilemmas are these: I don't know what exactly I want to study/pursue, and I'm still in debt from the last thing(s) I tried to pursue. I do believe it's God plan to redeem that debt (can I get an Amen?), but I'm lost as to his timing. I just know that I want to be back in school. It's exciting and fun. You're working toward something for your future and learning about something that you (hopefully) have interest in. A big part of me really just wants to do it to have that experience under my belt (where does that expression even come from I wonder? I'll have to look it up...) and have that degree. I've almost always wanted to have a degree or special knowledge in something. It's one of the reasons (perhaps the biggest) that I respect doctors, especially specialist doctors. I mean, how cool would it be to possess a significantly greater knowledge and skill level in something than say, 99% of the population? Pretty cool, I think.
Anyway, this ramble has gone on long enough.
Go on now, leave your thoughts and questions and random diversions from everyday life in response!

Repentance

2008-09-16T22:37:00.000-04:00

Repentance is an interesting thing.

I've been thinking a bit recently on repentance. After doing some repenting to God, I heard him say this, "Matthew, do you think that it's your repentance that removes your sins?"
An interesting thought, no?
It's always been my understanding that, even if you're a Christian, if you sin, you need to repent to have that sin forgiven. As though there's a tally in heaven that gets recorded with each sin I sin, and then wiped after each time I repent.
I don't think this is true though. If is this so, then it wouldn't be by faith in grace that we are saved and freed from sin (because to be saved [meaning going to heaven] you have to be free of sin) but by works in faith in grace that we're saved, and that's rubbish.
I remember one time, going to listen to some worship music with my sin on my mind, (I always find it awkward to try and do anything with God or God-involved with my sin on my mind) I thought to myself, "I can't listen to worship, I have un-repented for sin." And the still small voice says, "No you don't. I've forgiven you of that." I was surprised, because, like I said, I thought you had to repent to be forgiven, and so I pointed this out to God. He replied something to the effect of, "Your repentance is in your heart, and that's enough for me. You've been forgiven."
I thought, "Hmm, well that's interesting. Okay then."
So, to tie these two things together. Here's what I think.

I think that all my sin, past, present, & future, was wiped away at the cross. The Bible says that I've always been seen as blameless before God because I was to choose the reconciliation of the cross (Ephesians 1:4). But it's because my heart was in a state of knowing repentance when I accepted Christ's sacrifice, and because I default to a humbled state of repentance in my heart that God is able to acknowledge me as clean of sin. It's not that I tell my heart to be repentance, it's not an act I choose, it's because I love him. I think that's the key. Your love for him is what will bring you back to a heart of repentance. I do choose to love him, so to speak, but more so, I can't help but love him. It's really interesting, and I'm not even sure I fully understand it all, or anything I've said thus far. But I do understand this: regardless of what I do, he still loves me, and he's still forgiven me.
I've been struggling with really feeling and knowing that recently, a lot, to be honest. I do still know it. Somewhere, I know it, and I'll always know it. You can't know it, truly know it, and then deny it. Nothing is more true, nothing is more secure, nothing is more eternal than the love of God.

For the heck of it

2008-08-28T21:13:00.004-04:00

So, I'm writing this blog, for the heck of it.

Then I thought to myself. "Hmmm, 'for the heck of it.'"

I think right now, to be completely honest, I'm living for the heck of it. I'm not quite sure what that means. I think it means I'm just waiting for the next big thing to come along. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I'm kind of waiting for a direction, a path, a plan, a "something" to develop for me to put myself into. I mean, right now, it's just work, do the best I can at that; do church stuff; try and deal with family stuff; and try and have some fun. There's no specific goal I'm working toward like school, or promotion, or career, or anything like that. I'd like to move out at some point, but that's not something I can do quite yet, so for now, it's just, well, "for the heck of it."
I mean, yes, I live for the glory of God and to try and be the best I can and be the most like him I can. But, you do that no matter what direction your education, or career, or family life, or what have you, takes you. That's basic. What am I working toward to produce a living on this earth?
What am I building?
These are things that I'm pondering, when my heart has time away from dealing with all the crap right now. So, there ya go. I just blogged that, "for the heck of it."
I guess, we'll just have to see what's next.

Not Phased

2008-08-21T21:07:00.002-04:00

I'm finding that I'm not phased by much recently. I'm having a bit of a "yeah, whatever" kind of reaction to most things recently. Perhaps it's because there's just too much in my heart to really allow more in to have impact in it. There's too much junk, too much worry, too much fear, too much frustration, too much loneliness, too much... crap.
We found out last week that my grandfather has advanced lung cancer. We don't know how much longer he has. I'm phased by that. Not as much as I will be when he's actually gone, but, please, let's not go there.
It's hard to try and allow your heart to be phased by everything around you. Perhaps I'm a little too walled up at the moment, but I do think that it's not actually that great to allow all the world and its issues and ups and downs have much sway on you. I guess it's all about why it doesn't affect you.
Right now, there's just too much weight, too much junk, too much of, well, too much.
Meh... whatever.

Somedays...

2008-08-13T22:06:00.002-04:00

You just want to give up, don't you?

Just stop and put your head down, or lie down in your bed, or just stop where you are, sit down and put your head in your hands and just let out a deep breath. You don't want to keep walking, or talking, or typing, or doing anything really, you just want to stop.
Then you keep going, because people aren't allowed to just stop. That would mean a lot less getting done, but a lot more peaceful people. In the end though, wouldn't the increase in peaceful people lead to an increase in productive people? I don't know, such things are not for men such as I to ponder, I suppose...
You keep going. You go until you get to the bus stop, or until you can hang up the phone, or until you can leave for the day, or until you can go to sleep at night (or in the morning). Then, you know, that next time, it will take just that little bit more until you feel like you have to give up. You know that you can get to that point where you were the last time you felt like giving up without doing it, but now you've got to go just a bit further. I wonder how much we can take. I wonder how far we can go? How far can we go before we need to give up on giving up giving up?
Is giving up so wrong?
Sometimes I, the mighty infallible Matt Mitchell, want to give up. Shocking, I know. I never talk about needing help or giving up, and I wonder if people know that I'm like them and sometimes I want to give up too. Sometimes I do give up, so to speak. Sometimes at work, I need to get up and get out of my chair. I need to take a break. Isn't taking a break just another form of giving up? It's like giving up for a bit, but with control and acceptance.
What does it even mean to give up? I mean, to truly give up, one would have to end one's life, I guess.
I like to give up a moment to giving up. Or maybe give up two.
I'm rambling, I know. So, heck, I give up. I give everything I have up to God, so that when I do need to give up, at least somebody is still holding on to the things I was holding on to, and now he's holding on to me too. Sigh...

22 and still kicking

2008-08-04T22:29:00.002-04:00

Yes, I know, it's not that old.

I've never been 22 before ('no duh', I know, I'm being clever), and I'm trying to figure it out. Is there really anything to figure out? Hmmm.... Does each year have it's own uniqueness, or is that just the cliche we quote to make every year feel special and memorable? Oh well...

I was listening to the radio today in the car on the way to pick up my new computer (oh yeah, I got a new computer. It's flippin' sweet!) and heard a short list of famous people also born on August 4th. Here're some of them:

1900 - Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, (Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother), Queen consort of George VI of the United Kingdom (d. 2002)
1901 - Louis Armstrong, American jazz musician (d. 1971)
1961 - Barack Obama, American politician
1962 - Roger Clemens, American baseball player
1971 - Jeff Gordon, American race car driver

And that's just a few! Look at all the cool famous people born on the same day of the year as me! The Queen Mum for goodness sakes! Crazy...

I had a smashing party last night. I invited about 180 friends to come and eat and drink and be merry with me at the Fox & Firkin pub. I was expecting about 30 people, and nearly 40 showed! Some people I didn't know, some I didn't expect, and some I wouldn't expected to be anywhere else. It was amazing. I love my friends, and they love me (as the evidence showed). How great is our God to bless me with such an amazing smörgåsbord of people in my life!

All this to say, I am 22, God bless me, and I can't wait to see what this next year of life brings. There's a precedent set for God's goodness in my life, and I'm quite excited to see him pass it.

I had a thought...

2008-07-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

And now I can't remember what it was I was going to blog about.

I suppose it'll come to me.

"God Time"

2008-07-19T22:37:00.000-04:00

Everything seems to go better when you're having regular "God time". It can also be said that everything seems to go down the toilet when you're not having regular "God time".
To be truthful, I've been pretty lax with my time with God recently. I started working and getting a lot busier and started giving God less of my time. It's been pretty sucky, and perhaps it's even starting to show (?). I really need to get back to that.

I've never been a big journaller, but I do enjoy prayer and reading the Bible. I think my favourite thing to do with God though is worship. I love giving him praise and telling him about how awesome he is. I think he likes it too. I've been so busy lately, and tired, and sometimes discouraged, and it's really hampered the time with Daddy. I think that now that I'm working full-time it's going to take more effort and I'm going to have to be more diligent in scheduling God into my day and my week. It's going to take more sacrifice and more drawing of boundaries and such to make sure I get the time in, but it'll be worth it. I think that when it requires more of us there's a greater reward. On top of that greater reward, there's a higher level of discipline learned and diligence practised, which I'm all for growing in. Although, I should be careful in writing that. Those things have a way of coming back in biting me in the ass (spiritually speaking. And yes, I did just write 'ass' in my Christian blog! Shocking, I know).

All this to say, spend time with God people. It does you good.

One's Kin Ablazed

2008-07-05T21:18:00.002-04:00

So, this weekend has been the Families on Fire conference at TACF, and it's been pretty cool. Just thinking about family and all and I think I have some thoughts...
I had the opportunity to be a part of the prophetic presbytery team at the conference today and got to prophecy over about six or seven families, I think. Good times! Also kind of sad at times though, you tend to start to see things that aren't the greatest, thing in their lives that need healing. It's great though, because you also get to see a whole tonne of awesome stuff. It was really cool, because it's not something I get to do all the time, this whole prophesying thing, but I love it. There's a certain vibe, a certain feeling, a 'je ne sais pas' about some families. You can just feel the unique spirit about them, and it's really... well, it's really cool. My own family has its own unique spirit. I'm trying to understand my family better, I've often felt different from them. I'm the only one in my immediate family who is musical, and there are other things that, throughout my life, I'm just unique in. It can be hard for me, my brother doesn't go to church, and just doesn't have a sense of the spiritual side of life. It's scary sometimes and often very frustrating. I digress...

Family is cool, and it's really important. I don't think we value our families enough when we've been in them for so long. But then people start families and all the sudden it's the biggest thing ever. Then they tend to balance out. I can't wait to start a family. I love kids and I love family, but I'm also really excited for the things that God has shown me about my wife and kids to come. A lot of it I can't even qualify, it's just senses and feelings of the things that we'll do and the things that we'll be. I'm really looking forward to the great level of God's spirit that he's going to grow in me through my wife and family. It'll be good.

To break this down and wrap it up, let's treasure our families, there's nothing like them and God has us in them for a reason. Let's appreciate them and love them. Your family is unique and has a specific destiny and calling. It has a unique spirit that no other family could have. God loves family, he is, in himself, a family, and he's created us to be in families for a reason. It's because they're awesome.

Working Working, Making Money

2008-06-30T22:18:00.003-04:00

So, this Friday I get my first paycheck from my new job at TACF. It feels so good to be working again, full time, making the dough. I worked part-timeish for free for the church for a few months, and loved it, but it's so great to have a real job there. I have my own desk and my own phone, my own extension and email address, a staff badge, and all that jazz. I feel so appreciated, so loved, so acknowledged for the practical and worky stuff I can do.
I think that part of it is a guy thing, we like to work and provide, even if just for ourselves. We want to make our way and bring home the bread. I don't have a family or anything, but it's nice to know that I'm at least going to be able to be self-sufficient soon, instead of living off of others (my parents).
I'm planning to move out soon, preferrably in the fall, I think. I really hope I'm able to, it's something I've wanted to do for quite a while, and something I'm looking forward to. Much of it is a faith thing though, I beleive that God is behind me and supports it, so I'm believing he's going to help me find a great place for a great price and great roommates to live with. He's just cool like that.
Back to the whole job thing though. I struggled with the fact that I felt useless and empty without work when I didn't have any, but I continued to struggle with the idea that I was so shallow when I started work. It bugged me that I based my contentment, and perhaps even part of my identity, on whether or not I'm working. I know that God makes me wait long periods of time for work frequently and then rewards my patience with a good job, it's kind of been a pattern. I'm really praying and hoping and having faith that this will be a lasting job though, and that if and when I move on, it's not because I have to leave, but because God is calling me to something bigger. I hope that it wouldn't be this weird and sucky period of unemployment, but moreso a transition. I don't know why I'm thinking about that already, I just started two weeks ago. I guess I'm weird...
Why is it though that we base so much of our selves on our jobs? They don't define us, they're just our livelihood, but who really believes that? I try to, I really do, but I find so much contentment in the fact that I'm working somewhere I like and stuff. I don't know, perhaps I just need to grow up and learn what it's like to really know who I am despite what I do or don't do. Though, I think we all do...

This is fun

2008-06-13T22:46:00.002-04:00

So, I've recently started blogging again regularly. I forgot how much fun it is! How liberating a feeling it is to let your thoughts and feelings and crazy ramblings be free! Now that I've discovered that you can blog via email, it's awesome! I don't even have to log in, I just have to send this blog to my secret posting email and it's automatically up! How cool is that!? I KNOW!

Back to my point... I think that people like to blog for the same reasons I do. We have all these thoughts and feelings and dreams and ambitions that pop in and out of our head. How many of these do we wish we could just tell everyone about? Like when we have revelations about God or life or the aerodynamics of McDonald's hamburgers, we just want to tell the world, don't we? I do. When something good happens and I want people to know, so that they're happy for me, I can blog it. When something troubling has happened, I want to let people know, so they can pray with me. Now, I don't say this because of any need of my own, per say. Rather, I think of it this way... I love my friends, and I want to know what goes in their lives. If they see a success, than I'm happy for them and my heart is elated, perhaps my faith is even encouraged! If they see a troubling time, than I want to hear about it so I can pray with them and talk to them and give them a hug and do whatever I can to help them through it. Shouldn't I then expect my friends to have the same desires and expectations of me? Yes, I do enjoy the fact that my friends want to know about my life and join in on it, but I don't need a blog for that. That's what I have my cell leaders and cell members for, as well as other friends that I keep in regular contact with about such things. The purpose of blogging about these things is to open that same connection up to others to enjoy on a more general, corporate level. This way, we're all still in contact and we're all still joining in together on each others' ups and downs. After all, the Bible says "And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honoured, all the members rejoice with it."

So, I invite you, friends, suffer with me and rejoice with me! Right now, you can rejoice, things are looking fairly well. God is doing lots, really stretching me and working on my character, but it's for the best. I'm becoming more and more the man he wants me to be! Also, I got a job! (HOORAY!) I've been hired on as a Customer Care Representative at TACF, and start my first day of work as staff on Monday! I'm very excited!

I invite you also friends, to share your times of suffering, and your times of rejoicing with me! I want to be there and help you in your time of need, and be there to party in your time of success. Let's do it! This is the body, we suffer together, we rejoice together. In unity, we are one, we have power, we have joy, we have revolution.

Before The Judge

2008-06-10T16:52:00.001-04:00

So, I know that this has been done before, but I wanted to write my own. Here it is...

Before The Judge

By Matt Mitchell

The time has finally come. All his law breaking has finally caught up with him. Last thing he knew, he was sleeping, when suddenly he is awoken by the sound of sirens, and is forced into the police car, hands behind his back, being taken straight to the courthouse. He isn't alone though. There are two others in the back of the car with him. The man beside him has his head hung low, his skin is pale and sickly looking, his countenance is gloomy and depressed. The other man, in the seat by the other window, looks perfectly content however, he even has a smile on his face. Why is he so happy? Has he no remorse for his sins? Does he feel no guilt for his crimes? He just sits there, his hands in his lap, with a smile on his face. Listening carefully, he's humming a song. It almost sounds like "Amazing Grace". How strange.

He looks to the front of the car, to get a glimpse of these mysterious police officers who have arrested him without telling him why, without reading him his rights, just telling him his time is up. They don't have faces. He's never seen people without faces before.

He thinks to himself, "Is this a dream? How could it be that people don't have faces? Surely this is a dream." He knocks his head against the window on his left to try and wake himself up, but just ends up with headache.

"It's not a dream," says the officer. His voice is deep and flat, and he speaks with a hint of sorrow, and yet he seems to be mocking the poor, confused man.

"They always think it's a dream," says the officer driving. They laugh. Their laughter is cruel and harsh, it sends chills down his spine. How did they know he what he was thinking? Does everyone who gets in the car knock their head against the window to try and wake himself up? Or are they somehow able to read his mind?

The car ride is taking a long time, so long in fact, that the man starts to feel hungry. The hunger is sharp and strong and causes his stomach to grumble and twist. The officers laugh again at the growling of his stomach. He doesn't understand.

"How did I end up here?", he asks himself. "What have I done? I mean, I've done a lot things that are illegal, and a lot of things that are just wrong, but how would they know? I've never been arrested or anything before." He looks out the car window. Everywhere he can see people are being thrown into police cars by officers without faces. People are being arrested in their homes, in their cars, walking down the street, everywhere. What is going on? Why is everyone being arrested? Even the little old ladies are being thrown into cars like meat. This is terrible! And why is it still dark? When they barged into this house to arrest him, the clock said it was nine 'o clock in them morning, and there were no clouds in the sky! Something terrible has happened, something very very wrong.

After what seems to be forever, the car stops in front of a white courthouse. The building is huge, and there is a long line up of people protruding from the entrance. He looks to see that most are just like him and his gloomy conrad, depressed and shackled with handcuffs. Some though, are just like the third man in the car, smiling and content, singing to themselves, waving to each other. Why aren't they in cuffs? And why are they so happy? How strange.

He's so hungry. His stomach is aching, he wants to sit down it hurts so much, but there's no place to sit, and there's a sea of people in several lines waiting to get into this building. The faceless officers are walking up and down along the lines, with their batons in hand, tapping them gently in their opposite palms. Occasionally, someone will try and make a run for it, but he's always caught immediately and punished severely. Who are these ruthless cops? Taking a look around at all the people waiting to get into the courthouse, it seems like the whole city is there! And there are more coming, the police cars and their shackled prisoners seem to stretch as far as the eyes can see. He even sees children and youths in handcuffs!

He yells out, "Hey! Why are you arresting those poor children? What have they ever done?"

"Shut up!", a nearby officer calls out, as he walks over and and smelts him over the head with his baton. The sun is still not risen, in fact, it's not even on the horizon, and the moon is dark. It's a full moon, but instead of its standard whitish glow, it's a steely grey. He's so confused.

After what seems like yet another eternity of waiting, he is at the front of the line. He can see ahead into the lobby. He counts the people ahead of him, there are four. The first two go in, and in front of him is the smiling man from his car.

"Do you know what's going on?", he asks the man.

"Oh yes, I've been waiting for this a long time," the man replies.

Just as he's about to ask further questions, the doors to the courtroom open and the man and him are ushered in by officers.

"Follow," one of the officers tells him at the door, as he escorts him behind the happy man to the front to stand before the judge.

The courtroom is massive, close to the size of a football field, and the seats are filled with faceless observers. The walk to see the judge seems to take another ten minutes. The judge's bench is also quite large, and very tall and ominous. It's painted white, and seems to made from fine woods. On the judges is left is a very large book, and on right his gavel and its block.

"Wait here," the officer says at the gate to the front of the courtroom. There are two tables on either side where the prosecution and defense sit. The prosecutor is a very angry looking man, he has pale white skin and jet black hair. He has a medium build, and is quite tall with sharp facial features. He is a handsome man, yet there is something very, very ugly about him. He wears a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie, standing very straight and he has piles and piles of files beside on and beside his desk. The files seem to stack to the ceiling.

The man at the defense is a simple looking man. He has long brown hair, but not too long, it almost reaches his shoulders. He has a soft and friendly face, and piercing eyes. He is wearing a white button-up shirt and simple, plain khaki pants. He has no briefcase, no files, no documents of any kind.

The happy man steps up gladly to the middle of the court.

"What charges are laid against this man?", says the judge.

The prosecutor looks at his large pile of records, he seems to be carefully scanning them his eyes. He focuses his gaze at one particular place in the pile, and carefully and skillfully pulls out a very thin file. He opens it. There is only one page in it, and it is blank. He curses. "I have none," he says. "This man's record is blank."

"You are pronounced innocent," says the judge. The happy innocent man goes over to the defense table and hugs the man in white and thanks him. He then walks to the door in the corner of the courtroom labeled "Innocent".

"Next case!", yells the judge.

The man is pushed forward through the gate by the officer who brought him in. He walks to center court. He looks over to the defense, and the man in white is looking at him, he has tears in his eyes. Why is he crying? He then looks over the prosecutor, who has already found a large file for his next argument, and he has a menacing smile on his face.

"What charges are laid against this man?", says the judge.

"Your honour," says the defense, with a slight cringe following, "this man has quite a large record of charges that have been kept."

"That can't be! I've never been arrested before in my life!", cries the man.

"He has lied and stolen and cheated. He has been loose with his words, cursed his friends, cheated on his taxes, fought with his fellow man, he has done drugs, he has dishonoured women and taken advantage of them and broken their hearts. He has even spoken crude things about you! I have proof your honour, it's all here in his record. This man has not been absolved of any of his sins before you, your honour."

The man is in shock. How does he know these things? Then it hits him.

"That's not true! That can't be true! I go to church sometimes! I must have been forgiven at some point!"

The man in white is still fixed on him, still with tears in his eyes.

"Your honour, this man's name is not in the book! He must be sentenced to death", cries the prosecutor.

The judge opens the large book to his left, and peruses through it to look for his name.

"Indeed, his name is not in the book. He has never repented before me and confessed that I am his judge."

Suddenly he remembers all the people in his life who tried to tell him about God and the forgiveness of his sins, about how Jesus died for him and only wanted to have relationship with him and make him new. Why hadn't he listened? They told him this would happen someday!

"Your honour, you said it yourself, 'The wages of sin is death.'"

"I KNOW what I have said!", The judge shouts at the prosecutor. "I'm afraid, despite the efforts and open door provided by the defense, this man never took those steps towards me, and was never removed of his sins. I must sentence you guilty."

The judge bangs his gavel on its block. Two of the faceless officers come alongside him to take him away to the door marked "Guilty". As he is walked to the door, he looks back at the defense on last time, and Jesus, the man in white, still with tears in his eyes, waves goodbye and turns away.

Mini-Jumbo

2008-06-09T14:29:00.000-04:00

My Dad bought a "mini seedless watermelon" yesterday, and it caused me to think about something.

Our society is obsessed with changing things. We feel the need to make things that are big, like watermelons, "mini, and things that are small, like berries, "jumbo". Why can't we just be content and let nature do what it's supposed to? God designed these things to be how they are, let's just be content. Of course, it could be argued that our obsession with change comes from our own insecurities about ourselves and our lack of a solid identity in who we are and why we are. As a son of God, adopted by the blood of Jesus unto the Father, and filled with the Holy Spirit, I know my identity, and I'm secure in it. Do I still have things I want to change about myself? Yes, but my motive is to be the best I can to best live out the life God has for me and best reflect who HE is. The world seeks to change and "improve" themselves to look and feel and appear to be what everyone around them tells them to.

I love Jesus.

-Matt

Music

2008-06-04T00:04:00.002-04:00

I love music. It really influences my moods and feelings.

It can calm me, or it can agitate me

It can make me feel good, or make me feel sad

It can edify my spirit, or make me feel ill with the evil it spews

It can help me focus, but it can also distract me

It can help me wake, or help me sleep

It can make me think, or make me feel

It can worship God, or it can spit in his face

It can bring unity, or cause division

It can express our love for each other, and the lack there of

It's composed of systems and rules, yet it can be so freeing

It can be predictable or spontaneous

It is endless, there will always be music, and there always has been

It cannot be avoided, it's everywhere

It is in our very souls, and it's transient from outside us to inside us

It gets "stuck in our heads", but we can't help but let it out

It can be whatever we make it, it is subject to our decisions, it is ours to shape

Music came from God, he made it, and he gave it to us. Music always has been, and always will be. It is an immersing media that all people can receive and relate to. It entrances us, it is what we make it, but we can't help but make it certain things. We control its fate, but are we not controlled by the things it tells us?

Out of all the creative outlets I've tried, music is by far my favourite, which is probably why I've stuck with it longer than the others. I love listening to it, and I love making it. I feel so honoured to be able to produce it and write it and share it with others and give it to God. Call me a cheesy Christian, but worship music is my favourite music. Even music that isn't straight up "I love Jesus", but gives glory to God, is worship to me. Worship music is the original music, and it's the only everlasting music. Worship is my favourite thing to do with music.

Don't get me wrong, I love non-worship music, I listen to tonnes of it, and I write some of it too, it has its own dedicated beauty and expression and purpose that's completely unique and necessary. But worship music, is just that, it's worship music. Other than spending time with people and building relationship, worshipping God is my favourite thing to do. It's just... fun.

"Music is powerful" - Jarred Dunn

The Flavour of Favour

2008-05-28T18:30:00.000-04:00

Hello there everybody! (quick little Simpsons reference there)

So... Quite a while ago I promised a blog on favour. I'm quite late, I know (Bethany). Life has been crazy and weird...I've wanted to talk about favour for a long time now, as it's something I love and have had the pleasure of experiencing and walking in a lot my life. Forgive me if this study has a bit of a sloppy, perhaps unorganized format, I haven't planned anything and I'm just going to wing it. So here it goes.
Let's start by defining favour. Here's how the dictionary in my mac defines it:

favor |ˈfāvər| ( Brit. favour)
noun
1 an attitude of approval or liking : the legislation is viewed with favor.
• support or advancement given as a sign of approval : a struggle between competing aides for presidential favor.
• overgenerous preferential treatment : they accused you of showing favor to one of the players.
• a small gift or souvenir : good party favors include stickers, hair barrettes, or crayons.
• archaic a thing such as a badge or knot of ribbons that is given or worn as a mark of liking or support.
2 an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual : I've come to ask you a favor.

verb [ trans. ]
1 feel or show approval or preference for : slashing public spending is a policy that few politicians favor.
• give unfairly preferential treatment to : critics argued that the policy favored the private sector.
• work to the advantage of : natural selection has favored bats.
2 ( favor someone with) (often used in polite requests) give someone (something that they want) : please favor me with an answer.
3 informal resemble (a parent or relative) in facial features : she's pretty, and she favors you.
4 treat (an injured limb) gently, not putting one's full weight on it : he favors his sore leg.
PHRASES
do someone a favor do something for someone as an act of kindness.
in favor 1 meeting with approval : they were not in favor with the party. 2 having or showing approval : the appeals court ruled 2-1 in favor of his extradition.
in one's favor to one's advantage : events were moving in his favor.
in favor of 1 to be replaced by : he stepped down as leader in favor of his rival. 2 to the advantage of : the final score was 25-16 in favor of Washington.
out of favor |ˈˈaʊd əv ˈfeɪvər| lacking or having lost approval or popularity : proper dancing has gone out of favor.

ORIGIN Middle English (in the noun sense [liking, preference] ): via Old French from Latin favor, from favere ‘show kindness to’ (related to fovere ‘cherish’ ).

I love it, every definition has God and his goodness written all over it. One of my favourites is "an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual". Every time God has shown me favour it's been exactly that. He takes such delight and pleasure in our delight and pleasure. He loves to love us. "God is love" 1 John 4:8b (NIV)

Look at the cross. The cross was the biggest overpayment in history. Not only did God want to wipe away all our past sins and set us free from them, but he went to the extreme of freeing of us all sin to come too. He not only made sin extinct, but he took back the powers of death, sickness, and all the wiles of the hell. I love the Message version of John 10:10b "I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." Isn't that amazing? In my opinion, that verse is one of the biggest New Testament source verses for God's favour. It's like, Wow. Jesus came and died, and was resurrected for the purpose of us having the best life we could have, for all of eternity!
God's favour is all encompassing, it is grace and mercy and love and kindness and goodness and giving all in one. Some of the times of most favour in my life were some of the times in my life where my faithfulness was not as strong as it could, but God's faithfulness is unwavering.
Lamentations 3:22-33 is an awesome passage talking about the faithfulness of God. I think it's important to remember that recognizing God's faithfulness is a key in recognizing his favour.

"22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends![a]
      His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
      his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
      therefore, I will hope in him!”

25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
      to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
      for salvation from the Lord.
27 And it is good for people to submit at an early age
      to the yoke of his discipline: 28 Let them sit alone in silence
      beneath the Lord’s demands.
29 Let them lie face down in the dust,
      for there may be hope at last.
30 Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them
      and accept the insults of their enemies. 31 For no one is abandoned
      by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
      because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people
      or causing them sorrow."

Cool eh? I'm just gonna end it up here with some Bible verses on favour, as I've already gone into a whole tonne of examples of God's favour in my life in this and/or my other blog. So check them out and read these verses:

Genesis 39:2a "The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered"

Leviticus 26:9"I will look on you with favour and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you."

2 Kings 13:4a "Then Jehoahaz sought the Lord's favour, and the Lord listened to him..."

Psalm 5:12 "For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

Psalm 84:11 "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

If you want to find more examples of God moving in favour for people in the Bible, go to Bible Gateway and search the word "favor".

See ya later!

If God Had a Facebook Status...

2008-05-03T23:38:00.000-04:00

... It would read, "God is God".
Please don't ask me why I'm writing this, it just popped into my head and God won't let me not write it. I don't actually want to, I'm just being obedient and hoping that if I do, the phrase "If God had a Facebook status, it would read, 'God is God'," will leave my head. It's starting to get annoying. As I'm writing this, I know I have stuff to say on it that's Biblical truth, and I know Holy Spirit is giving me wisdom in it, but it sucks, 'cause I really DON'T want to.
So, here it goes...

God is God.

Matthew 6:25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. 27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. 30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. 34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

So yeah...

God is good at getting under our skin and convicting us isn't he? Father is in control, he loves us and cares for us and will not let us starve or die or anything like that. Why do I worry? Or am I just having a pity party? Probably the latter.

I'm going to end this now I think, because I've put it out there, as God has so strongly enjoyed making me do. He just loves to stretch us. Loves to take another issue to the cross. Well Lord, if you're going to kill me, you're going to resurrect me better, so bring it, okay!? Garsh!

Blessed

2008-04-07T00:48:00.002-04:00

I am so blessed.

This may sound cheesy, but church has changed my life. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my church and ALL the people I have met and befriended. This list includes my closest friends, which is probably about five people; some good friends whom I really enjoy talking and spending time with; people whom I consider to be friends, but I don't necessarily hang out with often; and casual acquaintances. My list of TACF people is over 100! OVER 100! In less than One Year! Wow...

I'm just so amazed at the goodness of God. I remember crying out to God a year ago for friends my age, for a place to connect with other young adults and grow relationships. I also prayed about planting a church, as it's something I've wanted to do for a while. Then there's the music thing, I've grown musically and have had a bunch of great opportunities here too!

He is so faithful, and such a great redeemer. I remember long periods of my life where I had no peer friends, and now I am so abundantly blessed with friends it brings tears to my eyes as I write this.

I love you guys. You know who you are, and you should know that I love you and treasure you dearly, and pray for you. I thank God for you pretty much daily, often several times in a day.

I am so blessed.

P.S.: I'm still working on putting together and organizing my next blog, which is on favour. Keep checking!

Purpose without a path provides for a perplexing problem...

2008-01-08T15:04:00.001-05:00

Hello anonymous reader, welcome to this, the latest entry of my blog.

A lot has changed over the past few months, and a lot is different.

Let's recap, shall we?

Spring of 2007:

I decide on Hillsong International Leadership College as my Bible college of choice and apply. I'm accepted and begin the process of moving my life to Sydney, Australia to study Worship Music.
I started attending TACF (Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship) Central, the young adult congregation in the heart of Downtown T.O..

Summer of 2007:

I join a small group at TACF and start to attend regularly and form friendships.
I leave my job at Starbucks, a company I'd been working for for close to two years.
I am jobless...

Fall of 2007:

TACF North York is planted, and I, feeling called to be there, plant with them and a beautiful little community is started.
I start work at a small camera shop in a mall, and enjoy it marginally.
The process of moving to Australia for Bible college continues.
I apply for and secure a job with Apple.
I attend the Heavy Rain conference at TACF and go through spiritual breakthrough.

Winter of 2007:

I start work at Apple for the Holiday season under the assumption of a continuation of my contract in January.
After much thought and prayer, and a lot of fun playing with people's minds, I decide to stay in Canada and not attend Hillsong and release the information slowly outward.
On staying in Canada: I decide that I will pursue opportunities here to grow in ministry and grow with TACF and see where God leads me, still with the intent of someday becoming a pastor.
I feel in my heart that the season has come to leave my home church, Hillstreams, of more than five years where I've met some amazing, life-changing people whom I will never forget and love very dearly.
I have the best New Years I've ever had in Northern Ontario in cabins with a whole bunch of awesome people.

January of 2008 (now):

I return from my best New Years ever to work the next day and have an excellent shift, however, at the end of the shift I am taken to the managers' office to be told that, unfortunately, there is no room in the store to extend my contract.
I am jobless and confused, and writing a blog called "Purpose without a path provides for a perplexing problem..."

So, yeah, here I am. (Rock me like a hurricane? Sorry, I had to...)

I find myself in a weird place spiritually and otherwise. I was never so content as I was at the end of last year. I had a great job that looked like it was going places, I had (and still have) the best group of friends I've ever had, I had a plans for the year with regards to work and life and church and things look good.

It's funny how we build ourselves a little castle, and one of the bricks at the bottom comes out, and either it's really wobbly, or it all just falls down. Luckily, my castle is still up and standing, and the other bricks are still pretty stable. But, this castle, this paradigm, it's built with many different factors, and work is one of them. I built this plan based on all of the elements in my life, all supporting and working with each other. And now that one is seemingly missing, or different, the entire plan begins to look a little different, a little less complete.

I chose the title of this blog for a particular reason, because it's what I feel like I'm facing. I still have that goal of what I want for my life, and I think I know what it will look like (according to the desires of my heart and what God has shown me in small bits here and there), but I have no idea on how to achieve it anymore. When I was going to Hillsong, it seemed to be well laid out for me. When I decided to stay in Canada, and everything was smooth sailing, I wasn't so worried about it and was just going to take it one step at a time.

Now, you may be asking yourself, or your computer screen, "Well, what's changed? Just because you lost your job you don't know how to build your life?"

Well, in a sense, no. I still have the same goal, and the other parts of my plans remain, but working, especially at Apple, provided for a very stable plan in my eyes. Now that I face uncertainty about where and how I will be working, and whether or not my next job will be as rewarding and successful as the first, my plans are a little up in the air in some ways.

I still want to move out in six months to a year. I still fully plan on taking the leaderships courses at TACF and starting a small group of my own. I still want to go new places in music and songwriting and relationships and health and a whole bunch more. But I have no clue what to do with my work life. I can't even think of something I'd want to do other than work for Apple now that I've had that dream job.

(All this being said, there is the possibility of going back if business needs change at the Apple Store.)

I don't even know where to look without stooping lower than what I've already achieved. Call me picky, I don't care, but I'm not going back to Egypt (aka Coffee Shops). I'm believing that God is not going to take away to not give back, and to give something better at that! I'm praying, "Lord, please, take me from glory to glory, not from glory to shmory."

I said this to my buddy Jordan last night, and he laughed and said, "Isn't it funny how we try and tell God what to do?"

I guess I need to have more faith...

It's also interesting how much that not only I, but a lot of us, put our strength and hope and etc. in our work. It's our security and our stability. I always try to be thankful and make God my source and my first place of provision. And I do believe that indeed every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, but it's weird how now that this supposed "gift" is taken away, I don't feel so secure in my source anymore. As though God needs Apple...

My friend Jim said to me the other night, "You don't know what's in you until something happens and it all comes up to the surface." Or something to that effect. Wise words, because apparently what was in me was a dependance on the gifts that God gives me instead of God, the giver, himself.

Anyway, just some things to ponder there and a little glimpse on what my life looks like at the moment.

Take care all, Happy New Year!

Well... I Work With An Australian...

2007-12-24T00:59:00.000-05:00

So, here's the story folks, buckle your seat belts, you're in for a long and wild ride.

It's been a number of months now, I guess, since I decided and applied to study at the Hillsong International Leadership College. I think it was April/May that it all started, but that's not all that important.

So since then, it's been crazy crazy crazy preparing and praying and preparing and praying and crying out and growing and stuff of the sort. There's been lots of, "God! Get in gear man! Let's go!!!" Thank goodness he is patient, graceful, and merciful. Heh heh heh...

I was very determined, as those of you who know me know, I can be like that. This was my golden ticket, my future, my training ground, my launching pad, my destiny point, the place of first contact (must I go on?). I was going to go to Hillsong and get the best worship training in the world from one of the biggest most famous churches and get this diploma that would give me the recognition and skill and experience that I wanted and that my destiny "needed".
Oh, it was up to God what to do with me, and my destiny was his, but it was his within the parameters that I had set. Funny how we do that eh?
"God, I'm not putting you in a box, you can move however you want, as long as you move in this part of my life."
A box is a box, whatever shape you make it, whatever you colour it, however big or small you make it, it's a box.

This was me. This was my logic. But wait, there's more!

Fear is interesting isn't it? It's a blinder, fear is. And the thing about fear is, when it blinds us, we seem to think that we see so clearly and that we're just being smart and "learning from the past". You see, in my ignorance and fear, I seemed to think that without Hillsong, the destiny, the dream, the vision I had for my life just couldn't come about. Without going to Hillsong and getting that paper, that training, that experience, my life would be a wreck. It was my only hope, it was all I wanted. It really was.
Fear is like air in a balloon. The more you fear, the more air you're putting in that balloon. Well, that balloon is your peace and faith and joy and sanity. The more you put into that balloon, the more stretched it becomes. If you don't let it out, it will pop you.

I had gotten to a point of being crazily stretched and just like that balloon, it was very uncomfortable. It looked good on the outside though, just keep telling people how good God is and how he's able to support me regardless and if he calls and I answer, he's obliged. It looks good on the outside, but if you don't let out the air nonetheless, you're still gonna pop.
That was me, secretly ready to pop.

Over American Thanksgiving, here in Toronto, there was a young adult conference at TACF called Heavy Rain. I felt, kind of last minute, that I should go. I wanted to go. My friends were going. I needed to recharge. Yes, I'll go.
So I went
It was AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING! Very good times. Good times with friends, good times with the church, and good times with Father.
So there I am, it's the second day of the conference (a 3 day one), and I'm stretched, and I had to tell someone that I was close to popping. So I grab my cell leader Mark and ask him if I could talk with him cause I "have some stuff on my heart I need to talk about".
We went to a more private place in a nice comfortable room, and I just deflated a little, enough for him to get a sense of how stretched I really was.

Have you ever been talking with someone about something, and, to him, it's about that something, but he says something about something else, and you realize, "Aha! That's what the issue's really about here."?
I told Mark about the fear thing about how if I don't go my life is over, etc.. I brought up the face that my last college experience was rough and ended badly and totally broke me, and I just couldn't have that happen, I couldn't "fail" again, I couldn't have dropped out of two programs.
Aha!
He picks it out easily. Anyways, we go through some forgiveness for people who hurt me during college, I'm weeping and getting tears and snot everywhere. All this is fear is now being broken off of me because I let go of a hurt.
Now, here I am, in this broken, vulnerable, messy place where I'm so deflated from letting out this fear and hurt that I'd been holding onto for so long without even knowing it, and what does Mark do? I'll never forget it. He starts speaking some of the most encouraging things anyone ever has to me. Every weak spot, every insecurity I had had in the past while is totally hit as he says nice thing after nice thing to encourage me, just when I thought I had a chance to stop weeping. Again, this encouragement was just breaking down walls and breaking down that fear that I wouldn't have a life if I couldn't go to Australia.

So, after that was all said and done and I was able to speak like a human, I went on with the rest of the conference, went through some really cool things spiritually in a soaking session the next day and just got so much more of God, my eyes seemed to be opened.
All of the sudden, it would be okay if I stayed. (insert gasp here) I know! I thought to myself, "Here's what I'll do: If God makes it clear to me, in what ever way he sees fit, to go, I'll go, if he does it to stay, I'll stay, but it's up to him."

A couple days after the conference was the TACF volunteer appreciation dinner. Now, TACF North York's lovely Pastor, Linda Cho, had insisted that I come. I was tired and was weary of being embarrassed by the leaders at this type of event, as which is custom, so I wasn't originally going to, but, you please the people you like. As I suspected, I was publicly embarrassed, I was called up to receive one of the awards and was just so thankful and felt so loved. That night (before the award) we had a worship time. In that worship time, I felt God whisper into my heart, "Matt, I'm going to give you the resources and ability to decide whether you stay or go. It will be your decision not mine."
As if I needed to tear up anymore eh?
God is really nice though, he doesn't leave us stranded on major life decisions, luckily, he leans our hearts and makes it easier.
It's interesting how, the entire time I prayed for favour for Australia, I kept finding more favour here. The Lord works in such "mysterious" ways eh?

So, over a period of about a week or two, I eventually decided, "Hey, life is pretty sweet, why don't I stay? Yes, I think I'll stay. Yay! I'm staying!!!"

I first told my family, then my cell and some of my close friends and leaders/pastors, then some more important leaders and pastors and then EVERYONE!

I feel good about it, it comes with things to deal with, but God is good and those things are working out well!

I work with an Aussi, maybe I'll minister and learn from him, I figure that's gotta count for something...?

So... with that being said, this will be the last post on this Australia blog, and I will no longer be adding to it. I won't delete it though.
This post will also be on my normal blog, which I will be starting back up again, and as always, I'm going to try and keep up with my devotional/bible study blog.

Cheers mates!

Drum Roll Please...

2007-12-04T19:08:00.001-05:00

So, this is a just a little post to announce the following:

I might not be going to Sydney, as it is. I still might, it's in the air, and as far you probably know, I'm going.

Here's some information on the topic...

I recently went through some serious release and deliverance of fear regarding the whole Australia/Hillsong thing. I had this notion in my head that if I didn't go my life would be over. A lot of it, I think, was also tied to hurts that I hadn't dealt with properly from my last college experience. So after a good sob session where I poured my guts out to my good friend Mark, and got poured into, I came away so much lighter and freer. I let go and died to this dream and determination that it was Hillsong or death (not literal death, just death to my destiny; destiny death), and have settled into a nice little peaceful place of: going or not, I'm good, and God will bless me and make the way.

I have made up my mind on whether I'm going or staying, and have started trickling the decision out to the appropriate sources in stages, and, alas general public, you are the last.

Stay tuned, the decision will be made openly public in less than two weeks (hopefully)!

Ciao!

The Showdown

2007-11-20T22:58:00.001-05:00

In the left corner, measuring 6 feet tall and much too heavy; the ugly, the evil, the oh so annoying:
Maaaaaaaaaaat's FEAR!

And in your right corner, measuring an equal 6 feet tall and not nearly heavy enough; the promising, the peaceful, and the oh so calm:
Maaaaaaaaaaat's FAITH!

It's quite a fight folks and it's looking to be a long one, but someone must cave, and someone must win!

Dum Dum Dum!

So, as you may be guessing, this blog is about fear vs. faith.

Here's where I'm at:

The England stopover is looking kind of bleak, as the $ just aint a flowing.

I'm suppose to be leaving in less than 50 days (HOLY CRAP!) and I still don't have a plane ticket... anywhere.

I have applied my passport and will be picking it up shortly.

I still have to book final doctor's appointments and get a test/x-ray done for my Aussie Visa, which I still have to apply and pay for ($400!).

I have finished my application and have sent all the final documents to the government for the OSAP and am waiting impatiently.

I am not working nearly enough hours to break even, never mind save money or have extra.

I need clothing and shoes and other things, badly.

I need to figure out some kind of a going away party with my friends/family and plan and have that.

I need to solidify certain arrangement in Australia so that I have a place to live and furniture to live with and sleep on.

I need to pack up my life.

And who knows what else! Oh, right, pray and fast my big arse off that everything goes down relatively smoothly. I'm also short about half the money I'll need just for the first year, assuming I get the full amount of money that OSAP should be giving me.

Just a sec...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Right, sorry, just had to get that out of my system.

Back to my original point.

FAITH VS FEAR!

I've really been struggling with this recently, and let me tell you, it sucks like a jet engine vacuum cleaner, the kind I'd imagine they use in space.

I'm torn between this thing called humanity, and this thing called supernaturality (that's a word I just made up, BOOM!). Part of me is pulling its hair out saying, "How do I make this work? How can I make this work? This isn't going to work! I think I want to cry."

And yet, another part of me is saying, "Chill out dude, God is in control! This is his vision for you and he's responsible and faithful to fulfil it man! Just keep your faith in him. Everything's going to be alright!"

I found myself in a time of reflection and prayer recently meditating on my whole dire need situation. I was thinking to myself, "I'm not going to give up, no matter what the circumstances look like. I'm not going to let my not having a plane ticket dictate whether or not I go" (sounds crazy, I know) "If it comes to it, I will pack my bags, pack up my life, and sit in the airport and wait for God to do something."

And I meant it, and I still do.

So, I guess what it comes down to is this:

No matter how hard fear hits faith, faith is going to win, because faith is backed up my God, and fear is backed up by nothing. Fear is going to get hits in, and they're going to hurt. They're going to shake you, maybe cause you to fall for a moment. Fear may even win a round, but Faith will Always, Always win the fight.

-Matt

Time Machine

2007-10-28T00:42:00.001-04:00

"If I only had a time machine, what changes I would make

If I could slow down the rushing winds of time

If I could control the clock's tick-tocking

If I could tell the future to slow it down

Tell the past to change itself

Tell the present to just hold on

If I only had a time machine"

-Matt Mitchell

So I leave for Australia in seventy days. That's not a lot of time. That's a little under two and a half months. What can be done in two and a half months? Let's make a little list:

...

Not much, I guess.

Not much at all. This seems to be the problem, not much can be done. There is still so much to do though, so where does this leave me? Frustrated and afraid. I should say that that's where it would tend to leave me, but I refuse to be left in a place like that, not all too friendly a place to be left at all! So, after being left there I decided to move. I would move from frustration and fear to faith and confidence. Hmmm, yes, faith and confidence is a much nicer place to be left, looking around it seems much more pleasant. There is less darkness here, it is sunnier and brighter, and it smells better too (gotta love metaphors).

Here are things still left to do:

Obtain passport

Schedule doctors appointments

Obtain student visa

Book plane ticket

Work out kinks and obtain student loan from OSAP

Have enough money (kind of an important one, eh?)

Dump cell phone contract

Get my G2

Pack

Leave

And I'm sure a bunch of other things I just can't be bothered to fathom and worry about right now.

-insert long, sad sigh here-

So yes. Yes, yes yes.

I believe that God is good. I believe he is eternally and endlessly faithful and will see this through and make a way.
Some good news, breaks of sunshine on the horizon:

I got a new job starting a couple weeks making a significantly better wage.
Someone from my parents' church told me that she would give me some money.

Awesome things that just show God's great grace, mercy, favour, and faithfulness.
I believe in miracles! And it's not because of some sexy thing, just in case you were wondering, it's because God is God. Just thought I'd make that clear. Good!

Okay, so, I don't know if anyone reads these, but if you've gotten this far, congratulations and thank you! Please pray for me, and help me. Please help me. I love you!

Shalom!

Poem For Your Thoughts?

2007-10-16T23:18:00.000-04:00

So, I was going to write a song, and this came out. I figured it was more a poem than a lyric for music and song, so I wrote as such. I can't think of a title for it, but maybe that's a good thing, some poems aren't meant to have titles. It's a bit of a change of pace from my devotions, but it's a bit of a plea to God, so we'll count it as such and leave it in here. It's also going in another blog of mine.

Old men are crying as young men are dying

The world is all lying and they do it all smiling

The children, in awe of the world they'll inherit

One without honour without love without merit

They look at the stars and in curiosity wonder

Will they be the ones to fix all our blunders?

What did they do to deserve it all?

Such big problems for their hearts so small

Maybe it will get better, maybe God will come through

He always seems to know what to do

So why don't we talk to him, on our knees we will pray

Oh God, would you come and show us the way?

Would you be like superman and save the day?

All we want is to go out and play!

And God will look down, with a smile on his face

He'll know that in this troubled world, still some have his faith

And maybe if we repent and turn from our ways

He'll come heal our land and bless the rest of our days

My next devotion is going to be on favour, but I'm still working on it. Stay tuned!

Watch out North York!

2007-10-08T22:51:00.001-04:00

So, just a little blog here about what's been going on recently.

I'm still planning and praying (fervently) for my preparations for Hillsong College. I'm still in need, desperately, and still putting my faith in God to come through with all the finances and things.

But in the meantime, here in Toronto, the newest and coolest thing right now is my new church TACF North York. We just launched last Sunday and we've been having lots of fun! God has been moving and is doing some cool stuff. Awesomely cool, amazing, fantastic leaders and people. I love 'em! It's so nice to be so included, welcomed, needed, and appreciated there with people like me who like me! Not to mention that I am learning so much about God, ministry, and life and stuff there. God has been testing me too, he's been getting me to surrender more and taking me out of myself, tearing me away from my will and self. Especially with service, music and my guitar. But he is faithful, and rewarding! Next Sunday I'm sharing in cell group and I'm playing in worship with a good friend of mine whom I've wanted to play with for a long time!

God is good, and he'll come through! I can't wait for him to just blow me away and take me to a new level.

If you live in Toronto, or the Toronto area, come by North York one Sunday night! We meet in the bottom of the civic centre right next to Mel Lastman Square at 6 pm. It's good times!

Stopping Over Across The Pond

2007-09-28T17:09:00.001-04:00

So, I've been meeting a bunch of cool people on facebook who are also going to Hillsong College in January. One particular person whom I've been talking with most is a young man from Winchester, England named Tim Vaine. Tim and I have much in common and have good, funny, strange, and ever interesting chats! One of the cheapest options for me to fly to Sydney is to stop over in Jolly Old London. I mentioned this to him and discussed perhaps visiting for a couple days (he's not far outside of London), and we've been making plans since!

It's going to be a lot of fun, and from the sounds of it, I will be doing a lot of eating! Real English fish and chips, an all you can eat Pizza Hut dinner apparently, and what Tim says is the best Chinese food outside of China (though he's never been to China, so when we stop there, we'll see).

We decided to do a two day trip where he will show me around his town of Winchester, and then we head for London early the next day for fun around town. The next day we leave for Sydney together!

Our flight plan to Sydney includes a one and a half hour stop in Hong Kong, so hopefully we'll be able to roam the airport and listen in on lots of Chinese conversations! Who knows!?

I'm still waiting on the funds in some ways, but I'm hoping to book my ticket by halfway through October, we'll say the 15th!

On that note, I've sent a document to Hillsong that the government requires to be filled out by the educational institution before giving me money and I am hoping that they've filled it out already and have sent it to them! I guess I will find out soon.

I hope I will.

I think that's it, so cheers and such!

Dying To Yourself Sucks

2007-09-24T17:43:00.000-04:00

Dying to yourself sucks, but God requires it, and facilitates it, and I think he enjoys it a little too... As you may, and should, know by now, I am pursuing a call of becoming a worship pastor in the future and am working at becoming a worship leader now. I play guitar and sing, and love to see people encounter God in worship. I'm enrolled to study at the Hillsong International Leadership College next year for Worship music for a couple years, and have big hopes, dreams, plans, and destiny! Now, with big things like, comes big trials to get there and a lot of death to yourself. If you want to give God glory with your life, you have to remove your pride, your stubbornness, you ideas about what is best for you, and etc.. It's hard, and it sucks. It even hurts. But it's necessary so that God can use us. He needs us to have good character, to be devoted and pure and to put him first.

Look at Joseph, he had HUGE dreams and an even BIGGER destiny! He was thrown in a pit and sold into slavery and in jail for years before he could be released into his destiny and become second in command over all of Egypt! But he needed to go through some things to learn some things about life and God. Moses had to wander around a desert in his own life, and then all of Israel had to die through a generation for them to learn and go into their promised land. David was a shepherd and worked his butt off fighting off beasts and tending to the flock for his entire childhood, and I believe much of his teens, before he was even selected and trained by Samuel before we was made king. Jonah was eaten by a freaking whale!

There is a recurring theme in many of the stories of the great leaders of the Bible, you need to die to yourself to live for God. Now here's a personal story that just happened to illustrate this...

As I have noted in previous blogs, I have been going to TACF Central, a young adult church in the heart of Downtown Toronto since like late April, early May. A couple months ago, Brett, one of the worship leaders, and an intern at the church, asked me if I would like to play guitar with the band sometime. I was flattered to be asked. I said I'd think it over and stuff and get back to him. I did, and I did. So Brett says, "Cool man, we'll get together sometime and jam so I can get a feel for you and we'll work it out."

Well, Brett's a busy guy, and I didn't hear from him for quite a while. Eventually, like a week or two ago, he says, "we'll do it this week, I'll call you to confirm." I didn't hear from him. He sends me a message apologizing, he's been really busy (he's a full-time intern at the church). So I figure, heck, I guess it's not meant to be, oh well. So, I'm at my friend Mark and Beths' house for a get together the night before, and mark goes, "Hey man you know we're playing together tomorrow on acoustic guitar!" I was like, "Uhm, no, no one told me." It turns out I was accidentally skipped on the list to receive the worship schedule email! So, I'm like, well, okay, I'll be there.

So, I'm rushing home from Hillstreams, my morning church, on Sunday (which is far away in Markham, so far that I have to get a ride to get to the subway) because the service went a little late and everyone's sticking around and I'm waiting for someone to give me a ride. It sucks not having a car in Toronto.
I'm running about an hour late, I have to be home before 2:30 so that I can pack up my guitar and maybe grab a little lunch and have time to make rehearsal. And there is no way this is going to happen without divine intervention! So I call my dad at home and ask if he would drive me halfway to Central, luckily he said yes and the traffic was good! Praise Jesus! I get there 5 minutes late, which is no deal because most of the band was stuck in traffic. Did I mention that I was freaking out all day because I had left my wallet at Mark's house and was desperately hoping he would find it and bring it that night? He did, Thank God! So yes, we're all setting up the equipment and stuff, running super late. We didn't start sound check till like 5, sound check is normally done by 4:30 I am told. So first of all, the battery in my tuner pedal is dead, so I borrow a spare battery. I plug into my tuner, but the tuner isn't displaying anything! So I bang it around and press a couple buttons and try everything, all this time thinking that the battery in my guitar is still good because I just changed it like three weeks ago! Then I realize it's probably my guitar's battery, so I borrow more batteries! (A typical musician, I am) Then I tune and all. Now, I only knew half the songs that I was given. But I managed to pick up the other two just fine.
So, we're doing sound check and monitors, and my guitar is totally distorting! The sound guy is like "I think it's your guitar cables." I'm like "Nuh, uh! These are good quality cables, I highly doubt it's them." So maybe it's my tuner, we try bypassing the tuner, same thing, still distorting. Maybe it's the guitar they try and say, but heck no, this is a high quality guitar I say! I play it live all the time! (I didn't actually say "Nuh uh!" by the way)
So we figure out it's the XLR (microphone) cable from the direct box which I spent like five minutes just untangling! So I go and get a new XLR. Now we're fine. We're rehearsing, everyone's happy.

In a very short amount of time the number of people in the church exploded and all the sudden it was full. It made me a little nervous, I'd never played to that many people before really. It was six o'clock. GO time! So, the drummer counts us in. The first song was Happy Day by Tim Hughes, an AWESOME song if you haven't heard it. Now, I could more or less hear myself in rehearsal without about two hundred singing, screaming twentysomething worshippers, but I couldn't hear AT ALL with them. About thirty seconds into this first of the songs, I broke my D string. Yes, that's right, I broke the D string. I also didn't have any replacements. I was like, "aaaaah!"
So, I briefly thought about putting my guitar down and going to stand in the back and sulk, but then I thought, "no, as long as I'm wanted on this stage, I will stay. If the worship leaders decide they don't want a D string-less guitar, then they will tell me to put it down and go worship, but they're not, so I will play, 5 strings or nought! The worship leader, Andrew, whom I think is super awesome, keeps signalling me to play bigger and I'm like whispering, "I can't, I broke a string!" I'd lost 1/7th of my resonance!
So, I say to myself, "I can either be a bum, or I can worship God and enjoy and learn from this experience and be a part of this team of amazing musicians and lead these people into worship!"
So I did, and I had lots of fun. I went and sat at the back during the message and sulked a little as I listened, asking God, "Why? Why did I have to break that string God? WHY?" And he said, "Matt I was testing you, and you passed! Why are you so unhappy?" And of course he knew why, because dying to yourself hurts, but in the end, it's worth it. I went to Brett afterwards and asked him how I did and he said that he was impressed and that I did really well especially with a broken string! When I asked if there was anything he thought I needed work on, he just said that it's hard to get use to the (P.A.) system and that I was standing in a bad spot for that and that I did really well because people are giving me signals I don't know yet and different people are queuing me differently within the band. I was just thinking, "Yay! He says I'm good!" He's a better guitar player than I am, so I was a little flattered. Then I talked to Andrew, who is also in charge of the worship as an overseer for the entire youth network of TACF (which is the size of three small to medium churches). He is an AMAZING singer, musician, and well trained and experienced worship leader. And he had only the best to say about me!!! He said that I took direction well and worked well with the members of the band and that he really enjoyed it and was happy to have me and that I play my instrument very well. I'll be honest, I was almost in tears. I asked him if he thought there was anything he'd like to see improvement in or anything and he said, "No, not this time, there may be in future times, but I thought you did great." Then he reached around my shoulder in a side-hugish motion and said, "Are you sure you want to go to Australia?" I laughed and told him yes. He smiled and said, "Well, just know that there's always an open door for you here." I was MELTED inside a litte. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Thank you, really, that means a lot."

I'll never forget it, it was the worst and best time of playing of worship I've had so far. The passion in this congregation when they go for it, it's amazing, and seeing it from the front and getting to be a part of the facilitation of it was a great honour and privilege.
I love Central.
God had to really break me and teach me to let go of performance and perfection in worship so that I was free to just do it and lead people. I had to put myself in his hands and not be deterred by circumstance and just push through. He had to teach me what it's really about, and I think that's what the worship leadership at Central saw.
Afterwards at dinner at Pogue Mahones (which is Irish for "Kiss My Butt"), the local pub near Central, I met and talked to one of Central's amazing cell leaders and shared this all with her and she shared with me her vision and calling and how she's been going through death to her will also. It was a great meet! We were both blessed by each other's testimonies and likenesses. Good times!
Only when we die to ourselves, can we really, fully, live for God.

'Cause You Gotta Have Faith

2007-09-05T03:39:00.000-04:00

"The Lord your God Who goes before you will Himself fight for you. He did this for you in Egypt in front of your eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way you have walked until you came to this place.'
Deuteronomy 1:30-31 (NLV)
"But now that you're here, you won't trust God, your God— this same God who goes ahead of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go." 32-33 (The Message)

I have, recently, decided to read the Bible front to back again and in doing so have just come upon a juicy little tidbit in the studious book of Deuteronomy.

"No," you might say, "not in Deuteronomy!"

But, "Yes!" I reply, "in Deuteronomy!"

I can very much relate to this scripture. You see, in preparations for my departure to Australia to go to Bible college in the new year, there have been doubts, fears, worries, anxieties, frustrations, and, well, you get the picture.

God has brought me through so, so much, and he has always been good to me. He has always followed through, and he's redeemed to me all the things that I have lost, and in his typical fashion, when he redeems, he does it and then some.

I have come to a place where God is trying to bring me into a greater level in my life, and I am saying "Are you sure about this God? This is scary, what if I can't pull it off? What if you can't pull it off?" I like how The Message puts verses 32 and 33 in a present tense, whereas most other translations do it in the past tense. It just sticks to me better.

Check this out:

"God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?"
Numbers 23:19 (NLT)

God is not going to put a promise in my heart, a fire in my belly, an unyielding desire to do this, without following through for me. The Bible says also that he will give us the desires of our heart:

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

I believe in this, I really do! And I believe that he enjoys giving us those desires! I also believe that God often puts desires into our hearts for things. Now, obviously, not every desire in our heart is from God, as our hearts are prone to corruption and to bend to the desires of our flesh, but I do believe that God made every part of us for a reason. He knows what our hearts want, and he knows what he wants for our lives and the way that we tend to live our lives based on the desires of our hearts. Wouldn't it make sense for him to put certain desires there for us to find so that we live the life he plans for us to live? I think so!

I encourage anyone reading this who is struggling with faith, or just needs some encouragement to remember the words of this blog tonight, and also to remember this verse:

"And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed"
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV)

Transition to another Matt - Transition to another blog

2007-09-04T22:42:00.000-04:00

This is just a post, to all and any who read this blog, that I am discontinuing this blog, as my life in Toronto is coming to a close, and my life in Australia is soon to start. I will no longer be posting updates on my life here. I will be posting thought blogs and things like that, however.

I leave in four months, and this shift in my life is my forefront focus.

As this is such, a new blog is in order!

Come visit my new blog, I pray you, to learn about the wondrous and wacky life of...

Matt in the Outback

I have their acceptance, they have my deposit, we have much to do...

2007-09-04T22:18:00.001-04:00

So... As it stands today, I am officially enrolled at the Hillsong International Leadership College for the Diploma of Ministry in Worship & Creative Arts. It is a two year program, which starts in February of next year, and which I will finish in December of 09.

I have sent them the money sufficient enough to pay for my first semester of schooling and the necessary health insurance for two years of stay in Australia as an overseas student.

Now, it's real...

There is still much to do, oh... so much to do!

I am working with OSAP and need to send them some documents, one of them being a document that... I need to fill out half of and send to Australia for them to fill out the rest.

I also need to:

Get my passport
After obtaining my passport, apply for my Australian VISA
Save some money
Apply for accommodation
Write up and send out fundraising letters
Pray... A LOT!
Plan a going away party at the end of the year, or possibly at the beginning of next
Book my plain ticket
Get rid of my cell phone and remaining contract time (any takers?)
Make the appropriate doctors' appointments
Get my G2 before leaving the country
Buy a bunch of stuff that I will need for life in Sydney

And who knows what else I've forgotten...

*Oh right, pack up my entire life and fly away to the land down under!

So, to wrap it up, pray for me and read this blog often. I will post pictures, videos?, anecdotes, and all things me in Australia in this blog, so keep on reading. Same Matt-Time, same Matt-Channel!

Friendship Good!

2007-07-29T22:21:00.000-04:00

So, I know that I've already talked about fellowship and community within the church and it's importance and stuff, but I kind of wanted to do something along those lines, but more specific. I want to talk about friendship. It's not really a bible study topic, I know, but it's really important to me, and the bible actually does have quite a bit to say about it.
Friendship was God's idea.

"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone."
Genesis 2:18a (NIV)

Okay, okay, for all you sticklers out there, (strictly) the context of this verse is that Adam needed a "helper" (the second half of the verse being "I will make a helper suitable for him"), that's where woman (Eve) came around. Not the point I'm making here. The point is that, yes, Adam needed a helper, but, it still isn't good for man to be alone! The verse isn't stated "It is not good for man to do all the gardening alone", it is "it is not good for the man to be alone."
Now, you may ask me to prove how that connects to God making friendship and all, and I will do using logic! Logic, by the way, not actually of the devil : P
God is all knowing, omniscient, the universe mapped out and all things known forever, amen? Also, God knew what he was doing when he created Adam, he knew that he would need to create a helper, he knew that he was creating a man whom it would not be good for to be alone. Hence (I love using that word!), God created man to be with others! HA HA! Prove me wrong!
I thought so...!
Anyway, back to friendship. It was God's idea. God is friends with himself, our incredibly complex, yet utterly simple God of three in one, is friends with himself. I'm not going too deeply into discussion on the dynamics of the trinity, but God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He is one God, expressed and shown in those three forms. That is how I understand it. God is perfect, and that perfection and the relationship of oneness in the trinity causes me, and the twenty years of growing-up-in-the-church theology have taught me, tell me that God has perfect fellowship with himself in his tri-nature. Make sense? Sort of right?
Okay, on to my next point. Hopefully I have one, and hopefully it makes clearer sense than my previous ones!
Biblical examples that prove God is big on friendship:

"So the LORD spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend."
Exodus 33:11a (NKJV)

"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend."
Job 16:19-21 (NIV)

" He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend."
Provers 22:11 (NIV)

"But you, O Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, you descendants of Abraham my friend,"
Isaiah 41:8 (NIV)

Jesus often referred to the person he spoke to as "Friend". I think he likes the word.
Anyway, while I do believe that God is our greatest friend, and that he should be out first priority in terms of friends, for this particular post, I want to talk about person to person friendships.
I have been so blessed in the past oh, two and a half months or so, to be able to meet and spend some time with some of the amazing people I have been. I have met and gotten to know so many people at TACF Central and have joined a great cell group with great cell leaders. Many people at Central feel like friends. I also love my Hillstreams friends! I have friends from all different walks of life and of different ages and races, personality types and other differences. I am so blessed by these people! I just wanted to write this to encourage anyone who reads this, if anyone reads this, that friendships are good! Pursue them! I need more friendships, and deeper friendships, and God is so good to give me those things and bless me that way, so be encouraged also if you feel that you lack friendship(s)!
I don't know where I wanted to go with this, all I know is that I feel in my spirit a real yearning to grow in my friendships, and to write about friendship tonight. Refer to my post about community and fellowship entitled "Will you keep me warm tonight? And I mean that in a purely platonic way" or something like that. There's more clarification of the benefit of friendships and why we need them in there!

Home Is Where My Guitar Is

2007-07-14T20:25:00.000-04:00

Well, it has been about a week. I was up at a rental cottage for the week with a whole bunch of family, and while I did, rest assured, throughly enjoy myself; I am glad to be home!
The weather wasn't great though. A little chilly and mostly overcast, but such is life. It was relaxing. I didn't think about money or the future or church business or anything like that, just lived a lazy life for a week, that is, a lazier life than I normally do.
I ate lots of food and snacks, did a lot of swimming (we were right on the lake), watched some movies, hung out with family I haven't seen a long time, and played a lot of cards. Card games are big in my family. I lost twelve dollars in poker! I thought I would win, each time. Don't you always think you are going to win though? Even if just a little bit, you always think, "I could win this."
All and all good times. I am back in the city now, and happy to be home! There was no room for my precious guitar! Oh my Taylor! How I missed you!
It was weird not to be able to call people I normally call during the week, or email people I normally email. The void of facebook interaction was strange and frightening at times, but at other times, this disconnectedness proved relaxing and restful. While I do like being able to be contacted through the entirety of my waking day, there is something to be said for taking time to yourself where you are shut off from the world. I think this is one of the reasons why people love going to cottages. You can go away, to a small, remote place, where the only thing to do is relax and run a lazy life of lethargy by the lake. Sip beers and eat chips. Swim and nap. Lay low and spend quality time with friends or family. On top of all this, you don't have to worry about work, or school, or activities, or anything of the sort for the week. You just let go. I think that we all need to have a let go session every once in a while. For me this week was a little long. I missed the "city things" and conveinces that I'm used to. Flushing your pee, talking on the phone, surfing the internet, writing blogs, using as much water as you like, Starbucks, and etc.. I would have liked a good four days, I think that works for me.
If you are reading this, I encourage you to try and see if you can take a little vacation time this summer. It may just be a weekend, or a long weekend, or a week, or whatever. Do something for yourself, go somewhere, be shut off. Go with friends or family, and just relax. It does a soul good.

Until next...

Relaxation, I Visit You Again!

2007-07-06T22:34:00.000-04:00

Well, tomorrow aft I leave for a week of relaxation. Every year, for the past seven, we have gotten together with much of my Mom's family and all squeezed into a cottage up in Muskoka. It has grown into a family tradition, and a highpoint of the summer for all us Lingard spawned families (gosh that sounds weird, "Lingard spawned").
It will be good. I am purposely using this week to let go of the stress I've been carrying recently. My concerns about work, Australia, church, home, and all things in my life are being put aside. The only thing I'm going to worry about is not getting a sunburn, and trying to get along with certain family members.
I really feel that this also is a time for me to spend some great intimate time with God. I feel that he's been saying, "Take this week and spend time with me. Use it to reconnect and go deeper, to spend a week with me. You won't have any schedules or commitments or activities to stop you, to put priority in over me, so press into me."
It will be nice just pushing a boat out and going into the middle of the lake, and spend some alone time in this nature just praying and talking to God. Nothing to distract me. Take a canoe out onto the lake, and take a look around at God's creation, at the glorious nature he's created for us. I just got a nice new little bible, I left my old one at the wedding hall from when I read at my friends Johnny and Elaina's wedding. I also have the Message, which is good for reading and getting another perspective on the verses from. I have a couple cool books from TACF to read for church, so lots of things to read about God and things to learn from for my walk with him. I will probably not get to spend as much time with God as I plan, nothing ever works out as planned, but I will have more opportunities to, and I plan to use them more than I have been recently, and more than I could if I was here in Toronto, working out life and necessities. I am so looking forward to it!
Also, my Aunt and three gorgeous little cousins are here from Alberta for the week! The girls are so much bigger and older than the last time I saw them. Hope is 10, Mally is 6, and Ella is 3. I saw them last about 2 years ago, and a year ago before that. Kids grow up so quickly!
So yes, there are many great things to look forward to for the week, and I am. It will be fun. I will miss all my friends here in Toronto, and I will not be able to check email, or facebook (aaaaah!), or anything like that until next Saturday. But this is good! I'm not even bringing my laptop to play with! Computers and internet, consider yourself one week forsaken!
Take care 'til then, and God Bless, may this time away from me bring us closer as the saying goes! haha!
I will post a blog after the cottage, I will have much to say and report!
Ta!

Oh... My... God... - The Story of My Taylor Guitar

2007-07-04T22:07:00.000-04:00

Please don't ask me why, but it never occurred to me until just recently to post the story of how I received my Taylor Guitar. However, it has now occurred to me to do such a thing, and here I am doing it. Now, I do thoroughly enjoy every opportunity I get to tell the story, especially considering the greatness and testimony of it. The best though, is people's reactions. When I started telling it to some friends recently, one interrupted me at the beginning and said, "Don't tell me you got a Taylor! If you got a Taylor I WILL SPIT!" I'm still waiting to see her spit. Such is the greatness of the guitar, and its story that this is the type of reaction I have almost come to expect (although not to such an interesting challenge of a reaction, I think she expected me to say no).

So, why not start at the beginning of my musicianship as a guitar player? Don't worry, it's not that long.
I started playing guitar in the winter of 2002. I had just started going to Hillstreams, and everyone cool played guitar. Being sixteen years old, and wanting to be cool like these people, and being generally interested in this whole guitar malarky (credit to Mark Hardy on the word malarky by the way!), I went to my grandfather, who is a guitar player and asked if I could start to learn on his guitar. He was happy to oblige. I would go next door (where he lived at the time) and sit in the basement with his 1952 Gretsch Chet Atkins Tennessean (which by the way is an awesome antic). It was easy enough on the fingers, so I could play for a couple hours at a time and be fine, and I did. I started writing when I could first put two chords together. My first song was about waiting for the cable guy to come fix your cable so you wouldn't have to miss all your favourite shows (it was a terrible song). I then found out that a friend of mine had sold his guitar to a local guitar shop, it was a ten year old acoustic made by a company called Simon & Patrick (local to Quebec). It was a good enough guitar for the time. Simon & Patrick's guitars are for the most part low to middle end, and I loved that guitar and played it all the time. I got the first hundred dollars from my cousin Melissa who was oh so kind to do it, even though I offered to pay her back. My parents couldn't afford it at the time. So I put that down and made $50 payments every month until I had payed the whole thing. It was only about $300. After a couple months though, my dad got real tired of driving me to the guitar store over and over again just to make these little payments. So my parents bought it out. I had that guitar for about three and a half years. I was one day hanging out and playing guitar with my oh so wonderful friend John Gillard, and he asked to see my guitar. I handed it to him, where he looked it over, and discovered a major flaw. A flaw that the guitar had come upon over time that would crush my heart and cause me to give up playing that guitar for fear of having it break in my hands while playing. You see, the neck of the guitar was lifting, quite significantly off the body of it. It was quite bad for the guitar, and the pressure that the strings put on the neck would only make it worse over time. To get it fixed would be expensive, and pointless as the cost of the procedure would be more than the final worth of the guitar, it already had an amateurishly repaired crack in the top that was totally visible, and ugly. It was just over all, in crap-ass shape. So I loosened the strings and put it in its case, not having any other thing I could really do.
For seven months I had no guitar to play. In this time I researched guitars, prayed for God to do something, talked to friends, and mourned the loss of my six stringed friend. Now, I will NOT say that this was seven months for the worse. God taught me so so much in this time. I had learnt to come to depend on my guitar to express myself and push forth in worship. As I took time away from my guitar, I learnt that I could worship without having to play. I grew with God in deeper levels of worship. It was changed my worship life.
Now, if you know guitars, then you know that Taylor makes excellent quality guitars that are of the top calibre of guitar brands. Well, they have different series of guitars, each more expensive then the last. From the 100 series to the 900 series. The first series of guitar that is of quality is the 300 series. I prayed and prayed and sowed for a 314ce.

One Week.
One Month.
Two Months.
Three Months.
Four Months.
Five Months.
Six Months.
Seven Months.

Now, as cool as it would've been, the guitar did not appear out of thin air. Even better, it was the result of a fiendishly clever, loving, Godly, handsome, and already mentioned gifted man's hard work along side with the contributions of many friends and my family. Mr John Thomas Gillard, my guitar hero. He had, behind my back, with the help of many close and loving friends and family members been researching the guitar I wanted, looking at listings and praying for God to show him to make this happen. It was a faith stretcher for him, but it ended up being a faith grower as well. Sufficed to say, it was very much that for me.
So seven months had passed. It was just a normal day. I was coming home from work and just entered the house. Tired, a little frustrated, and wanting to shower and nap, I proceed to my bedroom. Now, I forget to mention that I had told my friends about a dream I had had where I came home and found a guitar on my bed with a red bow on it.
I walk in to my room. This is me:
My exact words in this picture are "What is this?"
I was in shock. Especially when I saw the emblem on the side of the case that looked like this:

BA BA BA! (not sure if that is the right way to phoneticize that sound effect, heh)

Now, I am a man, and I don't cry, like ever. But I wept. Openly and like a child. There is videotape of it. Yes, I was secretly videotaped. I wept and wept in disbelief in shock.
"How did this happen?" I asked, for I knew my parents could so NOT have afforded it.
"Johnny did this," my mom said.
"Johnny did this?"
"Yes, Johnny arranged it all with your friends."
The pieces were starting to fall into place, my mom had recently cleaned up my room and cleared the phone list without reason to me, which were strange and uncommon things to do, especially without explanation.
"Read the card," mom says.
I open the envelope on top the guitar and begin to read the card, only causing me to weep more in reading the little notes and signatures of some of my closest friends. I sent Johnny a test message saying I need to see him PRONTO (and called him a jerk).
And it was mine. It was better than a 314ce. It was a 314ce L7. A limited edition. Instead of the body wood being a common one used in the 300 series it is a rare wood used only in the limited edition, called Tasmanian Blackwood. It was beautiful (check out my facebook pictures of it). I talked to Johnny the next day. He told me more about how it all came together. It was owned by a former worship leader. He bought it new a few months before he sold it to Johnny.
This guitar is everything I've ever wanted in a guitar. It is mine, truly. I know it may sound silly, but I really do feel a kindred of spirits with this guitar. When I look at it, when I hold it, when I play it, I know it is mine. I know it was made for me. I know that there is something about it, something in it, that is also in me. It is anointed. It is holy. It is a warfare instrument. It is a symbol of joy and power and worship and God's goodness and glory. It's beauty alone is awe-inspiring. That was September 26th, 2006, one of the best of my life, and one I will not soon forget.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of my Taylor guitar.

An Update of the Times

2007-07-04T21:34:00.001-04:00

Good day reader! This is a little update of sorts as there has been much going on and little online telling of it! I also decided to finally put up the story of how I received my Taylor guitar last year, as I just realized that I have not yet put it online! Look for that in the next post!
So, to the update!
Well, after much, much, much soul-searching, researching, thinking, and praying I have decided that I feel God, and my heart, are leading me to a life in ministry. After leaving Centennial College's Child and Youth Worker Program for many reasons, but primarily that things just seemed to add up to it not being right for me, for me not to be continuing there. I felt that I had no other choice, and can't really go into all the reasons why. Sufficed to say, I'm not there anymore, I took the year off to figure out the reasons why things went down the way they did, and what I am going to do now. I worked, and worked, and worked, and was going on with my regular other business with church and such, and just taking it easy. Well, after doing some reading, and thinking, and etc., I've come to do a place, like I said, where I feel led to ministry. I want to do worship, for a profession. It is where my heart is, to see the people of God press in deeper and see growth and change in worship. I want for the church to experience a fuller, deeper, more intimate, more glorious worship. I want to help churches who need more of that. I want to help churches to train up their teams, deal with their problems in worship, plan conferences, write songs, record albums, and be a consultant of sorts to help churches get from where they are in worship, to a new place and stay that way.
So, after coming to a glimpse of this, I thought to my self, "Self, I should go and do some schooling to be really equipped to do just this!"
I looked at different schools in the GTA, different programs and etc.. I looked at TACF's School of Ministry, and some other Christian College programs. Nothing really took me, until...
I don't know how it came to me to look into going to Australia, but some how it did. I found the Hillsong Church's International Leadership College, which is AWESOME. So, I looked at the info, and did some research, and prayed and thought about it. You know, nothing really appealed to me like this did. It was the only school that "made my baby jump."
I've decided, logically, to go into the stream of Worship & the Creative Arts (specifically music). They have three programs, a one year Certificate IV, a two year Diploma, or a three year Advanced Diploma in Ministry. I decided on the two year diploma, it just felt best. I may stay and apply for the third year for the Advanced Diploma, not sure yet. So yeah, I leave in January, and can't be more excited.

I'm still at Hillstreams Christian Fellowship in Markham, my home, my primary church. I've been also attending the Sunday night TACF (Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship) Central site church too. It's a young adult church which is AWESOME! I love it, it's great because I don't have many young adult peers at Hillstreams. It's been great, great people. I've joined a cell group and have awesome cell leaders! (Shout out to Mark and Bethany if you read this! WHOOP WHOOP!)

I quit Starbucks, like just last week. Which is good. I'm kinda relieved actually, even though I have nothing lined up yet. But God is good, and has given me great peace about it. I was talking to someone and he asked me "are you scared?"
"No," I answered.
"Are you scared that you're not scared?"
"Actually, yes, I am."
So yeah, I'm not really scared, but I'm kinda scared about not being scared, I mean, I have bills to pay, and no job, but hey, God is big enough to take care of me, and I feel that he is behind me with this, so worry I will not!

I'm leaving for a week this Saturday, we're going up to a cottage we rent from some friends of friends every year. We get the entire family together and all pour into this little cottage on the lake. It's lots of fun, I'm looking forward to it. It will be a good time and a great chance to connect with God in a new place and just relax and spend some time with him, and with family.

That's pretty much it for the update...

Ciao!

Goodness Unprecendented

2007-06-19T22:05:00.000-04:00

So, just an update on how amazingly good God is to me:

I have been formally accepted to the Hillsong International Leadership College of the Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia.
I have never felt his ever present love, affection, and fathering then I have in the past few weeks.
Neither have I ever experienced the presence and power of Holy Spirit like I recently have.
People have been speaking some really cool and encouraging things over me, and I'm just filled with joy and contentment.
A sense of confidence, sonship, authority, and love like none other has been living in me. It's amazing. I keep stepping back and praying "God, I love this. You are so good! Please tell me this isn't a temporary thing. Please tell me I can walk in this every day."
I've been so blessed recently in my spiritual life. As I've been seeking him, praying through the day, worshipping through the day, and other things for him, he's been healing things and growing things inside my heart. It was part of a promise to me he made. Thank you Lord that you are faithful to fulfil every promise he makes to us. It reminds me of the verse in Matthew (Good book ;-) ) 6, verse 33 where Jesus says "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Now, in the context that Jesus is referring to, he's talking about our needs (specifically clothing and food), but I believe that there's more to it than that. I believe that God provides for all our needs as we seek him first. I think that includes spiritual and emotional as well, and God always provides in abundance. God has always given me more than enough, he's never stingy or frugal in his provision. He is an abundant God, who provides for us in abundance!

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
Phillipians 4:19 (NKJV)

Now, according to this verse, we see that God provides for us according to what he has access to, his supply. God's supply is endless and full to overflowing. So based upon these two verses we can say this: God provides all our needs abundantly, according to his riches, as we seek his kingdom first.
Am I wrong?

Thank you Jesus!

Prayer is life!

2007-05-28T03:43:00.000-04:00

"if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."
2nd Chronicles 7:14 (ESV)

So, today being the Global Day of Prayer, and me having enjoyed the Toronto GDOP, I have decided that tonight's study will be on prayer! Good times!

Healing of the land, cleansing of sin, bringing of miracles, healing, all these things are more, they come from prayer.

I went to biblegateway.com (which is, by the by, awesometastic! It is where I pull all the different translations I use for these studies [there, my secret is out]), and searched for the word 'pray' and was returned with 365 results (in the NIV). Interesting, very interesting. There are, am I wrong, 365 days in a year? Coincidence? Yeah, probably, just pulling your leg!
Anyway, back to the point! God is big on prayer! Literally (you can look it up!) from Genesis to Revelation, the word 'pray' is used! And, based on the whole 365 times things, I'd say it's used pretty liberally. Which is good!
God is big on prayer! He is very big on prayer! He, as my new friend Chris would say, digs it large! (Chris if you're reading this, love ya buddy!)
Prayer is our communication with God! It is the walkie talkie that we both have.
Remember when you were a kid, and you would poke a hole in the bottom of two plastic cups, and tie in a string, one end into each cup, and use them like telephones? That is a PERFECT analogy of prayer in my opinion. Prayer is our direct line to God! We have one cup, he's got the other!
If you don't pray, you are not talking to God, and you are not hearing from God. A man who was praying at the GDOP tonight said something so truthful, so simple, yet so mysterious and lost by a lot of people, "prayer is a two-way communication." A lot of people think that prayer is one-way, just us to him. But the truth is is that he is talking back! We often just do not listen, are talking too much ourselves, or do not know his voice! And sometimes we have things that block us from hearing from him. Guilt from sin, distracting thoughts, a lack of passion, mental blocks, oppressions of the mind, and other things.

"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

This is a favourite verse of my Pastor's, and he's talked about it a few times before. This is the breakdown:

Faith comes by hearing hearing = faith
hearing comes by the word word = hearing

word --> hearing --> faith

Do you find your faith is weak? It's because you're not hearing from God eh? And you don't know why?

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word God

Not reading the word? Well, there's the problem right there!

You know, as they do, this study is getting a little long, so I will wrap it up (sort of) with this. I struggle with reading the bible regularly, I struggle with it a lot. I don't read it nearly enough as I want, or need to. I take it in at church services, at cell groups, from friends who speak it, and when I do these studies, and that is something, but it's not nearly enough. I pray to God that he will grow in me a desire for his word! It's hard! I really just need to make it a priority. I was talking recently with some fellow guys about building God's house, and about how our priorities tend to be on building our house before his, and how that makes me feel (which is sad). My life is about building God's house! I want to live full time a life of servitude for his house because I love him, love his house, love his people, love his lost sheep, and I love just the act of it! But I need to get my priorities straight in my day-to-day routine. God give me strength!
I encourage you reader, to press forth, to pray, to seek God, to crave his word like a fine food, and to dive into time with him fervently. Do not lose heart! And lift up your fellow Christian! Someone lift me up! Pray with me about prayer, pray with me about the word! There is so much power in these things.

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."
James 5:16 (NKJV)

Healing of the land, cleansing of sin, bringing of miracles, healing, all these things and more, they come from prayer.

Care to get your feet wet?

2007-05-28T00:42:00.000-04:00

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them. They were scared of of their wits. "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror. But Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid."
Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come ahead."
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"
Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?"
Matthew 14:24-31, The Message

I've been thinking about this recently. I think that this is an excellent demonstration of the grace of God. Notice that it's Peter, who seems to say, in doubt, "if it's really you..." who is the one to step out on to water. But his faith in Jesus is so great that he trusts this form that seems to be Jesus. I can just imagine what it would be like to take a step or two out of the boat, on to the rocky sea. Can you? I would be freaked out with joy and encouraged by experiencing the power of faith! Faith in Jesus is so powerful it can defy the rules of physics! Oh Lord grow our faith in you!
But then, sigh, we see doubt's power to quench faith. "But when we looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink."
We see here the power that doubt has. It's all in our minds! As you see, the power to do great exploits, to make miracles happen! It all comes to our faith!

Stay with me here! What I'm getting at is this: God can not work with doubt-filled minds! But with faith-filled minds, he can do anything!
So I encourage you reader... If Jesus asks you to step out of the boat, on to the rocky sea, the best that can happen is you will walk on those waves. And the worst is that he will pull you up from the water, and you'll need a change of clothes!

From May 14/07

That's Prince Matt to You...

2007-05-21T01:01:00.000-04:00

G'Day everybody! Pardon me, the odd Australian will pop in, I'm preparing to move there in the new year, and I just can't help myself but to interject a phrase or two here or there; but let's throw some shrimps on the barby and get on with tonight's study!
Soooo..... this morning at church, my lovely Pastor's wife, and my "church mom", spoke on our identity in Christ, mainly on how Satan tries to steal it. I Love Love Love these sermons because identity is something I have passion for. I love it when preachers, or whomever, speak on God given authority and things of the like because it so resonates in me. Let me give you a little insight as to why...
When I was a kid, I was picked on pretty bad at school because of very stupid, surface reasons. I was racially targeted and publicly humiliated and harassed constantly. This went on for about five years of my life, from grade three to grade eight. I have no shame in talking about it, and I've moved on and forgiven and am strong now, so I can continue to tell you even more why this is relevant.
For about five years I was constantly attacked on my worth, my intelligence, my appearance, my beliefs, my everything. Every thing that could be made fun, was. So sufficed to say, I became very depressed for a few years. Depression that lasted halfway through my teens! I had been out of harassment for three years before the depression was finally broken! So, the point of this is that my view of my value and identity were horribly, horribly skewed! I believed many horrible lies about myself and had serious self-esteem issues!
It wasn't until probably about a year or so ago that I really, really started to get a hold of what it meant to be a Man of God. This is still something I'm growing in, please don't allow yourself to believe that I would actually assume myself fully grown in the sight of God and in confidence and identity as a Man of God at twenty years old. So, yes, only about a year ago did I start to get it. The Bible says that God is King, God is Creator, God is Saviour, God is Healer, God is Redeemer, God is Father, God is Friend, etc., etc.. And the Bible also says that We are his children, his creation, his servants, his bride, his called and chosen ones, etc., etc.. BUT, this is something that few people actually have deep down in their hearts! Few members of the body of Christ actually realize what this means and what it entitles us to!
Let me tell you what it means!
First, this verse:

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
Matthew 28:18 (NIV)

now, check THIS out:

"When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases,"
Luke 9:1 (TNIV)

So.... Jesus had all authority in heaven and on earth. I think we need to go and emphasize a few words there. Here it is as I believe it should be read

"Then Jesus came to them and said 'ALL authority in Heaven AND on earth has been GIVEN to me."

A note, when the word "all" is used in the bible, it really does mean all. Meaning there is no exception or anything else. All is All.

Okay, so what I'm trying to get at is that the Holy Spirit that dwelled in and on Jesus now lives in us through Salvation by his blood. But you may say, "Oh that's not true, Jesus was different!" But moowahahahaa, I will prove you wrong with the word of God! Okay: First, Jesus is born of the Holy Spirit, and second, God sent his Holy Spirit to be with Jesus through Baptism:

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit."
Matthew 1:18 (NIV)

"and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."
Luke 3:22 (NIV)

Okay, now, the Bible also says that we receive the Holy Spirit. John the Baptist said, "I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire." Luke 3:16 (NIV).

And then Pentecost came and people were baptized with the Holy Spirit, which still goes on today. It is this Holy Spirit that is the power that casts out demons and heals the sick and raises dead, etc..
So, to wrap things up, because I spent a whole lot of time just setting this up...

We are sons/daughters of the Most High, Almighty God!
We are heirs to the highest throne!
We are Princes/Princesses to the King of All Creation!
We are friends of the Lord God who reigns!
We are created in his image!
We have received HIS Holy Spirit!

WALK IN THAT! Don't let anyone or anything take that from you!
Demons will come at you and attack your value, attack your worth, attack your everything, but you can tell them "shut up in the name of Jesus, I am a son of Most High Almighty God, an heir to the highest throne, etc., etc..
I love this kind of stuff, because to go for so long feeling like nothing, to go to such security and love and authority of being something, and what a something, is awesome and life changing.

Would you keep me warm tonight? And I mean that in a purely platonic way...

2007-05-17T01:03:00.000-04:00

"You must encourage one another each day.
And you must keep on while there is still a time that can be called "today." If you don't, then sin may fool some of you and make you stubborn. We were sure about Christ when we first became his people. So let's hold tightly to our faith until the end."
Hebrews 3:13-14 (Contemporary English Version)

This is one of my favourite bible verses. I love this translation too. I searched through probably about ten, and I like this one best.
If you know me well, you'll know that one big thing with me is fellowship. Brotherhood (or sisterhood) and fellowship are, in my opinion, key to the Kingdom of God. The Bible says that Moses and God talked as friends (Exodus 33:11)!
I believe that the church cannot hope to see miracles, salvations, revival, growth, etc., until we band together and love each other. Until we are able to unite as one, within every church, and as a church in whole, this dark world will not be lit. How can one candle, one flashlight, one lamp, light a city? One light has a hard enough time lighting just one house!
But, a network of lights, a city set a blaze by a series of connected streetlights lightens the dark so the stars themselves become jealous! Ever hear of light pollution?! Oh that the church could be light pollution in the spiritual realm! My heart aches for unity for the Kingdom of Heaven! Just like my blog the other night about being light applies to the individual's spiritual walk, tonight I plead to not the individual, but the collective to shine!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone?
And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (Amplified Version)

Ever notice that a movie is more entertaining when you watch it with someone else? Life is better with others! We're social creatures! We're meant to be together! (Genesis 2:18) And we're meant to join together to build the kingdom of God!
Can I just encourage you reader to do one little thing more than you're doing now? Even if it's just calling someone from you church once this week to say, "Hi, I was just thinking about you and wanted to say hey and see how you were doing!"
These are the kind of things that help to strengthen us as a body and from there we can go and show the world how it's done!
The Bible says that the world will know us by our love for each other (John 13:35). So love love love love love!

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Romans 12:10 (NIV)

This little light of mine...

2007-05-15T04:58:00.000-04:00

"This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine!
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine!
This little light mine
I'm gonna let it shine,
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!"

So, welcome to my first public devotions blog! I thought that I would so enrich the internet with my personal thoughts on biblical and Christian life topics as to have my own devotions blog.
I've been thinking recently on being a light. Being one who shines. And I've had this song in my head. It's so simple, and some might say childish, but it makes a great statement. There's another verse which goes on to talk about how the devil will not blow it out.
Matthew 5:14-16 (the Message) says:

"You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

I love that translation!!! "You're here to be a light." That's AWESOME!
I've been thinking, what is so wrong with being a light!? If I get to be a light, I get to be a strength to those who are in the dark! A guide to those who are lost! A comfort to those who are scared! If I get to be light, I get to be something people look for! Something people are drawn to! I was praying recently at church that God would make our church like a bright light to come to for those who are in darkness. That he would make us not just light a lamppost, but like a GREAT BONFIRE! Oh God, make me shine brighter!
Here are some other great verses about being a light:

Psalm 4:6 (NIV)
"Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD."

Psalm 89:15 (NIV)
"Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD."

Psalm 118:27a (NIV)
" The LORD is God, and he has made his light shine upon us."

Provers 13:9 (NIV)
" The light of the righteous shines brightly, but the lamp of the wicked is snuffed out."

Isaiah 60:1 (NIV)
"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you."

Matthew 5:14 (NIV)
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden."

John 1:
1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.

3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4In him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." (NIV) -- The same light that was in Jesus, the light of men, dwells in us through the Holy Spirit!

Acts 13:47 (NIV)
" For this is what the Lord has commanded us: 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.' "

2nd Corinthians 4:6 (NIV)
" For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ."

Ephesians 5:8 (NIV)
" For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light"

1 Peter 2:9
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

As you can see, the bible has a lot to say about being of light. Remember that you carry light in you and you are one who shines!

Care to get your feet wet?

2007-05-14T19:21:00.000-04:00

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them. They were scared of of their wits. "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror. But Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid."
Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come ahead."
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when we looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"
Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?"
Matthew 14:24-31, The Message

I've been thinking about this recently. I think that this is an excellent demonstration of the grace of God. Notice that it's Peter, who seems to say, in doubt, "if it's really you..." who is the one to step out on to water. But his faith in Jesus is so great that he trusts this form that seems to be Jesus. I can just imagine what it would be like to take a step or two out of the boat, on to the rocky sea. Can you? I would be freaked out with joy and encouraged by experiencing the power of faith! Faith in Jesus is so powerful it can defy the rules of physics! Oh Lord grow our faith in you!
But then, sigh, we see doubt's power to quench faith. "But when we looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink."
We see here the power that doubt has. It's all in our minds! As you see, the power to do great exploits. To make miracles happen! It all comes to our faith!

Stay with me here! What I'm getting at is this: God can not work with doubt-filled minds! But with faith-filled minds, he can do anything!
So I encourage you reader... If Jesus asks you to step out of the boat, on to the rocky sea. The best that can happen is you will walk on those waves. And the worst is that he will pull you up from the water, and you'll need a change of clothes!

Apparently it's hot in here. No? So you say it's me then?

2007-05-14T14:45:00.000-04:00

Ever have a moment where God decides he wants to make you feel special, and does?
Recently I have started attending a young adult church called TACF Central (whoop whoop). I've been going for the past four Sunday nights, and have really been enjoying it. I've met some crazy characters and just some great, Godly, down-to-earth people. One of these people, whom shall remain nameless, came up to me last night during worship. He came and gave me a little side-hug. I said "hey, what's up?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to come over and bless you, if that's okay."
"Sure," I said, figuring he meant "I just wanted to come over and say hi with a side-hug."
I was wrong. "Sure, go right ahead I said."
And he started to pray. He was speaking into me that he saw me on fire for God, a man on fire in that very place. Now, I'm not exactly small or hard to find, and I was standing kinda at the back, not hard to see. But I thought it was really cool that he had looked around and saw me like that. Back to the prayer.
"Yeah," he said, "I just see you as a man on fire, and you're going to go out and change the city. You're going to go out and set this city on fire for God."
And then he went on, in traditional TACF style, to "light me".
"I light you right now, I light you!" he says.
Now, I forget to mention that coming into TACF this night, I felt a little discouraged, just lies trying to get me down. But after this awesome man of God prayed for me, I feel confidence just rise up and glow in me. Thank you sir!

It's crazy sometimes how God will use people to "light you".
I think I will continue to go to Central... maybe I will see YOU there!

It begins

2007-05-14T00:22:00.000-04:00

It begins
A blog is born

So, welcome to my humble ablog (that was a play on the word 'abode', it's not a typo). I hope that you find much of something here; be it encouragement, wisdom, hilarity, insight, or insanity. This is where my thoughts, my struggles, my journey ways shall come to share themselves. If you find yourself reading this, it's because you are either bored, and don't have much better to do, or you are interested in me, in my life. Welcome if the case is the latter, or the former, either way I am glad you chose to learn a little more about me!
If you've been cleared to view this blog, it's because I trust you to know me. I hope that you trust me to know you too.
Here we go, you and I, you and every soul who decides to peek in on the world of Matt, or MattWorld, as I like to call it. If you're prepared for a walk into the unknown, a dive into the deep, a journey into the mysterious, you just may find it. However, if you seek to find something to seek, you will find that you need to find something to find first (it makes sense... I think).

Have fun!