A question of existence? Sort of, but not really...

Have you ever felt like you're not a real person? Perhaps that's not the best way of putting it. Do you sometimes, or maybe often, feel alone in your struggles? In your thoughts. Maybe not even in your thoughts themselves, but in the way you think them. I hope this makes sense to you, I think it does for me.
It's like a feeling of lonely uniqueness. It's a feeling of isolation and independance that you just want to do away with. It just kind of pops up here and there. You're just sitting there, going through your routine, and you just realize: "I'm me. That's all I am. It's all I have and all I can be. I'm not quite sure how much I really like it, but I'm a little alone in it."
And you're right. I mean, to an extent. I just finished watching 'About a Boy' again. It's true, no man is an island, and we all need people. It's definitely true. And I do have friends and loved ones. There are people who care about me who are there to help me out.
But I'm the only one in my head. I'm the only one in my heart (aside from God). I'm the only one who has to listen to all the crap I think. The only one who has to feel all the crap I feel. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Sometimes I wish there was someone else in there with me to tell me that it's okay to feel those things.
I envy married people. I know that even when you're married you're still alone in there, but you do have someone you can talk to about anything that comes up there. That's what I'd like. Just someone to "let in" unconditionally. How sweet would that be!?

Just some thoughts...

-Matt