The Showdown

In the left corner, measuring 6 feet tall and much too heavy; the ugly, the evil, the oh so annoying:
Maaaaaaaaaaat's FEAR!

And in your right corner, measuring an equal 6 feet tall and not nearly heavy enough; the promising, the peaceful, and the oh so calm:
Maaaaaaaaaaat's FAITH!

It's quite a fight folks and it's looking to be a long one, but someone must cave, and someone must win!

Dum Dum Dum!

So, as you may be guessing, this blog is about fear vs. faith.

Here's where I'm at:

The England stopover is looking kind of bleak, as the $ just aint a flowing.

I'm suppose to be leaving in less than 50 days (HOLY CRAP!) and I still don't have a plane ticket... anywhere.

I have applied my passport and will be picking it up shortly.

I still have to book final doctor's appointments and get a test/x-ray done for my Aussie Visa, which I still have to apply and pay for ($400!).

I have finished my application and have sent all the final documents to the government for the OSAP and am waiting impatiently.

I am not working nearly enough hours to break even, never mind save money or have extra.

I need clothing and shoes and other things, badly.

I need to figure out some kind of a going away party with my friends/family and plan and have that.

I need to solidify certain arrangement in Australia so that I have a place to live and furniture to live with and sleep on.

I need to pack up my life.

And who knows what else! Oh, right, pray and fast my big arse off that everything goes down relatively smoothly. I'm also short about half the money I'll need just for the first year, assuming I get the full amount of money that OSAP should be giving me.

Just a sec...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Right, sorry, just had to get that out of my system.

Back to my original point.

FAITH VS FEAR!

I've really been struggling with this recently, and let me tell you, it sucks like a jet engine vacuum cleaner, the kind I'd imagine they use in space.

I'm torn between this thing called humanity, and this thing called supernaturality (that's a word I just made up, BOOM!). Part of me is pulling its hair out saying, "How do I make this work? How can I make this work? This isn't going to work! I think I want to cry."

And yet, another part of me is saying, "Chill out dude, God is in control! This is his vision for you and he's responsible and faithful to fulfil it man! Just keep your faith in him. Everything's going to be alright!"

I found myself in a time of reflection and prayer recently meditating on my whole dire need situation. I was thinking to myself, "I'm not going to give up, no matter what the circumstances look like. I'm not going to let my not having a plane ticket dictate whether or not I go" (sounds crazy, I know) "If it comes to it, I will pack my bags, pack up my life, and sit in the airport and wait for God to do something."

And I meant it, and I still do.

So, I guess what it comes down to is this:

No matter how hard fear hits faith, faith is going to win, because faith is backed up my God, and fear is backed up by nothing. Fear is going to get hits in, and they're going to hurt. They're going to shake you, maybe cause you to fall for a moment. Fear may even win a round, but Faith will Always, Always win the fight.

-Matt