A question of existence? Sort of, but not really...

Have you ever felt like you're not a real person? Perhaps that's not the best way of putting it. Do you sometimes, or maybe often, feel alone in your struggles? In your thoughts. Maybe not even in your thoughts themselves, but in the way you think them. I hope this makes sense to you, I think it does for me.
It's like a feeling of lonely uniqueness. It's a feeling of isolation and independance that you just want to do away with. It just kind of pops up here and there. You're just sitting there, going through your routine, and you just realize: "I'm me. That's all I am. It's all I have and all I can be. I'm not quite sure how much I really like it, but I'm a little alone in it."
And you're right. I mean, to an extent. I just finished watching 'About a Boy' again. It's true, no man is an island, and we all need people. It's definitely true. And I do have friends and loved ones. There are people who care about me who are there to help me out.
But I'm the only one in my head. I'm the only one in my heart (aside from God). I'm the only one who has to listen to all the crap I think. The only one who has to feel all the crap I feel. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Sometimes I wish there was someone else in there with me to tell me that it's okay to feel those things.
I envy married people. I know that even when you're married you're still alone in there, but you do have someone you can talk to about anything that comes up there. That's what I'd like. Just someone to "let in" unconditionally. How sweet would that be!?

Just some thoughts...

-Matt

An hour a day....

So today is fall daylight savings time day, where our clocks go back an hour and we all wake up just a little more refreshed than normal. That is, unless you live in Saskatchewan (suckers!).
It's interesting how good I feel about having an extra hour to my day. I went to bed early and woke up late to be reminded that it was actually an hour earlier. I felt so much more productive all of the sudden. It's kinda of like being given extra time on a project, just by default.
So I had a thought; what if we set the clocks back everyday?
I guess it would end up being counter-productive. Maybe just once a week. How great would it be to get an extra hour's sleep every Sunday night? Mondays would definitely be easier for me!
Well, enjoy your extra hour and enjoy your fall & winter!

PS: I'm writing this blog via email on my iPhone!
How cool is that!?

Shalom!

Matt