Well... I Work With An Australian...

So, here's the story folks, buckle your seat belts, you're in for a long and wild ride.


It's been a number of months now, I guess, since I decided and applied to study at the Hillsong International Leadership College. I think it was April/May that it all started, but that's not all that important.

So since then, it's been crazy crazy crazy preparing and praying and preparing and praying and crying out and growing and stuff of the sort. There's been lots of, "God! Get in gear man! Let's go!!!" Thank goodness he is patient, graceful, and merciful. Heh heh heh...

I was very determined, as those of you who know me know, I can be like that. This was my golden ticket, my future, my training ground, my launching pad, my destiny point, the place of first contact (must I go on?). I was going to go to Hillsong and get the best worship training in the world from one of the biggest most famous churches and get this diploma that would give me the recognition and skill and experience that I wanted and that my destiny "needed".
Oh, it was up to God what to do with me, and my destiny was his, but it was his within the parameters that I had set. Funny how we do that eh?
"God, I'm not putting you in a box, you can move however you want, as long as you move in this part of my life."
A box is a box, whatever shape you make it, whatever you colour it, however big or small you make it, it's a box.

This was me. This was my logic. But wait, there's more!

Fear is interesting isn't it? It's a blinder, fear is. And the thing about fear is, when it blinds us, we seem to think that we see so clearly and that we're just being smart and "learning from the past". You see, in my ignorance and fear, I seemed to think that without Hillsong, the destiny, the dream, the vision I had for my life just couldn't come about. Without going to Hillsong and getting that paper, that training, that experience, my life would be a wreck. It was my only hope, it was all I wanted. It really was.
Fear is like air in a balloon. The more you fear, the more air you're putting in that balloon. Well, that balloon is your peace and faith and joy and sanity. The more you put into that balloon, the more stretched it becomes. If you don't let it out, it will pop you.

I had gotten to a point of being crazily stretched and just like that balloon, it was very uncomfortable. It looked good on the outside though, just keep telling people how good God is and how he's able to support me regardless and if he calls and I answer, he's obliged. It looks good on the outside, but if you don't let out the air nonetheless, you're still gonna pop.
That was me, secretly ready to pop.

Over American Thanksgiving, here in Toronto, there was a young adult conference at TACF called Heavy Rain. I felt, kind of last minute, that I should go. I wanted to go. My friends were going. I needed to recharge. Yes, I'll go.
So I went
It was AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING! Very good times. Good times with friends, good times with the church, and good times with Father.
So there I am, it's the second day of the conference (a 3 day one), and I'm stretched, and I had to tell someone that I was close to popping. So I grab my cell leader Mark and ask him if I could talk with him cause I "have some stuff on my heart I need to talk about".
We went to a more private place in a nice comfortable room, and I just deflated a little, enough for him to get a sense of how stretched I really was.

Have you ever been talking with someone about something, and, to him, it's about that something, but he says something about something else, and you realize, "Aha! That's what the issue's really about here."?
I told Mark about the fear thing about how if I don't go my life is over, etc.. I brought up the face that my last college experience was rough and ended badly and totally broke me, and I just couldn't have that happen, I couldn't "fail" again, I couldn't have dropped out of two programs.
Aha!
He picks it out easily. Anyways, we go through some forgiveness for people who hurt me during college, I'm weeping and getting tears and snot everywhere. All this is fear is now being broken off of me because I let go of a hurt.
Now, here I am, in this broken, vulnerable, messy place where I'm so deflated from letting out this fear and hurt that I'd been holding onto for so long without even knowing it, and what does Mark do? I'll never forget it. He starts speaking some of the most encouraging things anyone ever has to me. Every weak spot, every insecurity I had had in the past while is totally hit as he says nice thing after nice thing to encourage me, just when I thought I had a chance to stop weeping. Again, this encouragement was just breaking down walls and breaking down that fear that I wouldn't have a life if I couldn't go to Australia.

So, after that was all said and done and I was able to speak like a human, I went on with the rest of the conference, went through some really cool things spiritually in a soaking session the next day and just got so much more of God, my eyes seemed to be opened.
All of the sudden, it would be okay if I stayed. (insert gasp here) I know! I thought to myself, "Here's what I'll do: If God makes it clear to me, in what ever way he sees fit, to go, I'll go, if he does it to stay, I'll stay, but it's up to him."

A couple days after the conference was the TACF volunteer appreciation dinner. Now, TACF North York's lovely Pastor, Linda Cho, had insisted that I come. I was tired and was weary of being embarrassed by the leaders at this type of event, as which is custom, so I wasn't originally going to, but, you please the people you like. As I suspected, I was publicly embarrassed, I was called up to receive one of the awards and was just so thankful and felt so loved. That night (before the award) we had a worship time. In that worship time, I felt God whisper into my heart, "Matt, I'm going to give you the resources and ability to decide whether you stay or go. It will be your decision not mine."
As if I needed to tear up anymore eh?
God is really nice though, he doesn't leave us stranded on major life decisions, luckily, he leans our hearts and makes it easier.
It's interesting how, the entire time I prayed for favour for Australia, I kept finding more favour here. The Lord works in such "mysterious" ways eh?

So, over a period of about a week or two, I eventually decided, "Hey, life is pretty sweet, why don't I stay? Yes, I think I'll stay. Yay! I'm staying!!!"

I first told my family, then my cell and some of my close friends and leaders/pastors, then some more important leaders and pastors and then EVERYONE!

I feel good about it, it comes with things to deal with, but God is good and those things are working out well!

I work with an Aussi, maybe I'll minister and learn from him, I figure that's gotta count for something...?


So... with that being said, this will be the last post on this Australia blog, and I will no longer be adding to it. I won't delete it though.
This post will also be on my normal blog, which I will be starting back up again, and as always, I'm going to try and keep up with my devotional/bible study blog.

Cheers mates!

Drum Roll Please...

So, this is a just a little post to announce the following:

I might not be going to Sydney, as it is.  I still might, it's in the air, and as far you probably know, I'm going.  

Here's some information on the topic...

I recently went through some serious release and deliverance of fear regarding the whole Australia/Hillsong thing.  I had this notion in my head that if I didn't go my life would be over.  A lot of it, I think, was also tied to hurts that I hadn't dealt with properly from my last college experience.  So after a good sob session where I poured my guts out to my good friend Mark, and got poured into, I came away so much lighter and freer.  I let go and died to this dream and determination that it was Hillsong or death (not literal death, just death to my destiny; destiny death), and have settled into a nice little peaceful place of:  going or not, I'm good, and God will bless me and make the way.

I have made up my mind on whether I'm going or staying, and have started trickling the decision out to the appropriate sources in stages, and, alas general public, you are the last.

Stay tuned, the decision will be made openly public in less than two weeks (hopefully)!

Ciao! 

The Showdown

In the left corner, measuring 6 feet tall and much too heavy; the ugly, the evil, the oh so annoying:
Maaaaaaaaaaat's FEAR!

And in your right corner, measuring an equal 6 feet tall and not nearly heavy enough; the promising, the peaceful, and the oh so calm:
Maaaaaaaaaaat's FAITH!

It's quite a fight folks and it's looking to be a long one, but someone must cave, and someone must win!

Dum Dum Dum!

So, as you may be guessing, this blog is about fear vs. faith.

Here's where I'm at:

The England stopover is looking kind of bleak, as the $ just aint a flowing.

I'm suppose to be leaving in less than 50 days (HOLY CRAP!) and I still don't have a plane ticket... anywhere.

I have applied my passport and will be picking it up shortly.

I still have to book final doctor's appointments and get a test/x-ray done for my Aussie Visa, which I still have to apply and pay for ($400!).

I have finished my application and have sent all the final documents to the government for the OSAP and am waiting impatiently.

I am not working nearly enough hours to break even, never mind save money or have extra.

I need clothing and shoes and other things, badly.

I need to figure out some kind of a going away party with my friends/family and plan and have that.

I need to solidify certain arrangement in Australia so that I have a place to live and furniture to live with and sleep on.

I need to pack up my life.

And who knows what else! Oh, right, pray and fast my big arse off that everything goes down relatively smoothly. I'm also short about half the money I'll need just for the first year, assuming I get the full amount of money that OSAP should be giving me.

Just a sec...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Right, sorry, just had to get that out of my system.

Back to my original point.

FAITH VS FEAR!

I've really been struggling with this recently, and let me tell you, it sucks like a jet engine vacuum cleaner, the kind I'd imagine they use in space.

I'm torn between this thing called humanity, and this thing called supernaturality (that's a word I just made up, BOOM!). Part of me is pulling its hair out saying, "How do I make this work? How can I make this work? This isn't going to work! I think I want to cry."

And yet, another part of me is saying, "Chill out dude, God is in control! This is his vision for you and he's responsible and faithful to fulfil it man! Just keep your faith in him. Everything's going to be alright!"

I found myself in a time of reflection and prayer recently meditating on my whole dire need situation. I was thinking to myself, "I'm not going to give up, no matter what the circumstances look like. I'm not going to let my not having a plane ticket dictate whether or not I go" (sounds crazy, I know) "If it comes to it, I will pack my bags, pack up my life, and sit in the airport and wait for God to do something."

And I meant it, and I still do.

So, I guess what it comes down to is this:

No matter how hard fear hits faith, faith is going to win, because faith is backed up my God, and fear is backed up by nothing. Fear is going to get hits in, and they're going to hurt. They're going to shake you, maybe cause you to fall for a moment. Fear may even win a round, but Faith will Always, Always win the fight.

-Matt

Time Machine

"If I only had a time machine, what changes I would make

If I could slow down the rushing winds of time

If I could control the clock's tick-tocking

If I could tell the future to slow it down

Tell the past to change itself

Tell the present to just hold on

If I only had a time machine"

-Matt Mitchell

So I leave for Australia in seventy days. That's not a lot of time. That's a little under two and a half months. What can be done in two and a half months? Let's make a little list:

...

...

Not much, I guess.

Not much at all. This seems to be the problem, not much can be done. There is still so much to do though, so where does this leave me? Frustrated and afraid. I should say that that's where it would tend to leave me, but I refuse to be left in a place like that, not all too friendly a place to be left at all! So, after being left there I decided to move. I would move from frustration and fear to faith and confidence. Hmmm, yes, faith and confidence is a much nicer place to be left, looking around it seems much more pleasant. There is less darkness here, it is sunnier and brighter, and it smells better too (gotta love metaphors).

Here are things still left to do:

Obtain passport

Schedule doctors appointments

Obtain student visa

Book plane ticket

Work out kinks and obtain student loan from OSAP

Have enough money (kind of an important one, eh?)

Dump cell phone contract

Get my G2

Pack

Leave

And I'm sure a bunch of other things I just can't be bothered to fathom and worry about right now.

-insert long, sad sigh here-

So yes. Yes, yes yes.

I believe that God is good. I believe he is eternally and endlessly faithful and will see this through and make a way.
Some good news, breaks of sunshine on the horizon:

I got a new job starting a couple weeks making a significantly better wage.
Someone from my parents' church told me that she would give me some money.

Awesome things that just show God's great grace, mercy, favour, and faithfulness.
I believe in miracles! And it's not because of some sexy thing, just in case you were wondering, it's because God is God. Just thought I'd make that clear. Good!

Okay, so, I don't know if anyone reads these, but if you've gotten this far, congratulations and thank you! Please pray for me, and help me. Please help me. I love you!

Shalom!

Poem For Your Thoughts?

So, I was going to write a song, and this came out.  I figured it was more a poem than a lyric for music and song, so I wrote as such.  I can't think of a title for it, but maybe that's a good thing, some poems aren't meant to have titles.  It's a bit of a change of pace from my devotions, but it's a bit of a plea to God, so we'll count it as such and leave it in here.  It's also going in another blog of mine.  

Old men are crying as young men are dying 

The world is all lying and they do it all smiling 

The children, in awe of the world they'll inherit 

One without honour without love without merit

They look at the stars and in curiosity wonder 

Will they be the ones to fix all our blunders?

What did they do to deserve it all? 

Such big problems for their hearts so small 

Maybe it will get better, maybe God will come through 

He always seems to know what to do

So why don't we talk to him, on our knees we will pray 

Oh God, would you come and show us the way? 

Would you be like superman and save the day? 

All we want is to go out and play!

And God will look down, with a smile on his face 

He'll know that in this troubled world, still some have his faith 

And maybe if we repent and turn from our ways

He'll come heal our land and bless the rest of our days

My next devotion is going to be on favour, but I'm still working on it.  Stay tuned!

Watch out North York!

So, just a little blog here about what's been going on recently.

I'm still planning and praying (fervently) for my preparations for Hillsong College.  I'm still in need, desperately, and still putting my faith in God to come through with all the finances and things.

But in the meantime, here in Toronto, the newest and coolest thing right now is my new church TACF North York.  We just launched last Sunday and we've been having lots of fun!  God has been moving and is doing some cool stuff.  Awesomely cool, amazing, fantastic leaders and people.  I love 'em!  It's so nice to be so included, welcomed, needed, and appreciated there with people like me who like me!  Not to mention that I am learning so much about God, ministry, and life and stuff there.  God has been testing me too, he's been getting me to surrender more and taking me out of myself, tearing me away from my will and self.  Especially with service, music and my guitar.  But he is faithful, and rewarding!  Next Sunday I'm sharing in cell group and I'm playing in worship with a good friend of mine whom I've wanted to play with for a long time!  

God is good, and he'll come through!  I can't wait for him to just blow me away and take me to a new level.  

If you live in Toronto, or the Toronto area, come by North York one Sunday night!  We meet in the bottom of the civic centre right next to Mel Lastman Square at 6 pm.  It's good times!

Stopping Over Across The Pond

So, I've been meeting a bunch of cool people on facebook who are also going to Hillsong College in January.  One particular person whom I've been talking with most is a young man from Winchester, England named Tim Vaine.  Tim and I have much in common and have good, funny, strange, and ever interesting chats!  One of the cheapest options for me to fly to Sydney is to stop over in Jolly Old London.  I mentioned this to him and discussed perhaps visiting for a couple days (he's not far outside of London), and we've been making plans since!

It's going to be a lot of fun, and from the sounds of it, I will be doing a lot of eating!  Real English fish and chips, an all you can eat Pizza Hut dinner apparently, and what Tim says is the best Chinese food outside of China (though he's never been to China, so when we stop there, we'll see).  

We decided to do a two day trip where he will show me around his town of Winchester, and then we head for London early the next day for fun around town.  The next day we leave for Sydney together!  

Our flight plan to Sydney includes a one and a half hour stop in Hong Kong, so hopefully we'll be able to roam the airport and listen in on lots of Chinese conversations!  Who knows!?

I'm still waiting on the funds in some ways, but I'm hoping to book my ticket by halfway through October, we'll say the 15th!

On that note, I've sent a document to Hillsong that the government requires to be filled out by the educational institution before giving me money and I am hoping that they've filled it out already and have sent it to them!  I guess I will find out soon.  

I hope I will.

I think that's it, so cheers and such!

Dying To Yourself Sucks

Dying to yourself sucks, but God requires it, and facilitates it, and I think he enjoys it a little too...  As you may, and should, know by now, I am pursuing a call of becoming a worship pastor in the future and am working at becoming a worship leader now.  I play guitar and sing, and love to see people encounter God in worship.  I'm enrolled to study at the Hillsong International Leadership College next year for Worship music for a couple years, and have big hopes, dreams, plans, and destiny!  Now, with big things like, comes big trials to get there and a lot of death to yourself.  If you want to give God glory with your life, you have to remove your pride, your stubbornness, you ideas about what is best for you, and etc..  It's hard, and it sucks.  It even hurts.  But it's necessary so that God can use us.  He needs us to have good character, to be devoted and pure and to put him first. 

 Look at Joseph, he had HUGE dreams and an even BIGGER destiny!  He was thrown in a pit and sold into slavery and in jail for years before he could be released into his destiny and become second in command over all of Egypt!  But he needed to go through some things to learn some things about life and God.  Moses had to wander around a desert in his own life, and then all of Israel had to die through a generation for them to learn and go into their promised land.  David was a shepherd and worked his butt off fighting off beasts and tending to the flock for his entire childhood, and I believe much of his teens, before he was even selected and trained by Samuel before we was made king.  Jonah was eaten by a freaking whale!  

There is a recurring theme in many of the stories of the great leaders of the Bible, you need to die to yourself to live for God.  Now here's a personal story that just happened to illustrate this...

As I have noted in previous blogs, I have been going to TACF Central, a young adult church in the heart of Downtown Toronto since like late April, early May.  A couple months ago, Brett, one of the worship leaders, and an intern at the church, asked me if I would like to play guitar with the band sometime.  I was flattered to be asked.  I said I'd think it over and stuff and get back to him.  I did, and I did.  So Brett says, "Cool man, we'll get together sometime and jam so I can get a feel for you and we'll work it out."

Well, Brett's a busy guy, and I didn't hear from him for quite a while.  Eventually, like a week or two ago, he says, "we'll do it this week, I'll call you to confirm."  I didn't hear from him.  He sends me a message apologizing, he's been really busy (he's a full-time intern at the church). So I figure, heck, I guess it's not meant to be, oh well. So, I'm at my friend Mark and Beths' house for a get together the night before, and mark goes, "Hey man you know we're playing together tomorrow on acoustic guitar!" I was like, "Uhm, no, no one told me." It turns out I was accidentally skipped on the list to receive the worship schedule email! So, I'm like, well, okay, I'll be there.

So, I'm rushing home from Hillstreams, my morning church, on Sunday (which is far away in Markham, so far that I have to get a ride to get to the subway) because the service went a little late and everyone's sticking around and I'm waiting for someone to give me a ride. It sucks not having a car in Toronto.
I'm running about an hour late, I have to be home before 2:30 so that I can pack up my guitar and maybe grab a little lunch and have time to make rehearsal. And there is no way this is going to happen without divine intervention! So I call my dad at home and ask if he would drive me halfway to Central, luckily he said yes and the traffic was good! Praise Jesus! I get there 5 minutes late, which is no deal because most of the band was stuck in traffic. Did I mention that I was freaking out all day because I had left my wallet at Mark's house and was desperately hoping he would find it and bring it that night? He did, Thank God! So yes, we're all setting up the equipment and stuff, running super late. We didn't start sound check till like 5, sound check is normally done by 4:30 I am told. So first of all, the battery in my tuner pedal is dead, so I borrow a spare battery. I plug into my tuner, but the tuner isn't displaying anything! So I bang it around and press a couple buttons and try everything, all this time thinking that the battery in my guitar is still good because I just changed it like three weeks ago! Then I realize it's probably my guitar's battery, so I borrow more batteries! (A typical musician, I am) Then I tune and all. Now, I only knew half the songs that I was given. But I managed to pick up the other two just fine. 
So, we're doing sound check and monitors, and my guitar is totally distorting! The sound guy is like "I think it's your guitar cables." I'm like "Nuh, uh! These are good quality cables, I highly doubt it's them." So maybe it's my tuner, we try bypassing the tuner, same thing, still distorting. Maybe it's the guitar they try and say, but heck no, this is a high quality guitar I say! I play it live all the time!  (I didn't actually say "Nuh uh!" by the way)
So we figure out it's the XLR (microphone) cable from the direct box which I spent like five minutes just untangling! So I go and get a new XLR. Now we're fine. We're rehearsing, everyone's happy.

In a very short amount of time the number of people in the church exploded and all the sudden it was full.  It made me a little nervous, I'd never played to that many people before really.  It was six o'clock. GO time! So, the drummer counts us in. The first song was Happy Day by Tim Hughes, an AWESOME song if you haven't heard it. Now, I could more or less hear myself in rehearsal without about two hundred singing, screaming twentysomething worshippers, but I couldn't hear AT ALL with them. About thirty seconds into this first of the songs, I broke my D string. Yes, that's right, I broke the D string. I also didn't have any replacements. I was like, "aaaaah!" 
So, I briefly thought about putting my guitar down and going to stand in the back and sulk, but then I thought, "no, as long as I'm wanted on this stage, I will stay. If the worship leaders decide they don't want a D string-less guitar, then they will tell me to put it down and go worship, but they're not, so I will play, 5 strings or nought! The worship leader, Andrew, whom I think is super awesome, keeps signalling me to play bigger and I'm like whispering, "I can't, I broke a string!" I'd lost 1/7th of my resonance!
So, I say to myself, "I can either be a bum, or I can worship God and enjoy and learn from this experience and be a part of this team of amazing musicians and lead these people into worship!"
So I did, and I had lots of fun. I went and sat at the back during the message and sulked a little as I listened, asking God, "Why? Why did I have to break that string God? WHY?" And he said, "Matt I was testing you, and you passed! Why are you so unhappy?" And of course he knew why, because dying to yourself hurts, but in the end, it's worth it. I went to Brett afterwards and asked him how I did and he said that he was impressed and that I did really well especially with a broken string! When I asked if there was anything he thought I needed work on, he just said that it's hard to get use to the (P.A.) system and that I was standing in a bad spot for that and that I did really well because people are giving me signals I don't know yet and different people are queuing me differently within the band. I was just thinking, "Yay! He says I'm good!" He's a better guitar player than I am, so I was a little flattered. Then I talked to Andrew, who is also in charge of the worship as an overseer for the entire youth network of TACF (which is the size of three small to medium churches). He is an AMAZING singer, musician, and well trained and experienced worship leader.  And he had only the best to say about me!!! He said that I took direction well and worked well with the members of the band and that he really enjoyed it and was happy to have me and that I play my instrument very well. I'll be honest, I was almost in tears. I asked him if he thought there was anything he'd like to see improvement in or anything and he said, "No, not this time, there may be in future times, but I thought you did great." Then he reached around my shoulder in a side-hugish motion and said, "Are you sure you want to go to Australia?" I laughed and told him yes. He smiled and said, "Well, just know that there's always an open door for you here."  I was MELTED inside a litte. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Thank you, really, that means a lot."

I'll never forget it, it was the worst and best time of playing of worship I've had so far. The passion in this congregation when they go for it, it's amazing, and seeing it from the front and getting to be a part of the facilitation of it was a great honour and privilege. 
I love Central.
God had to really break me and teach me to let go of performance and perfection in worship so that I was free to just do it and lead people.  I had to put myself in his hands and not be deterred by circumstance and just push through.  He had to teach me what it's really about, and I think that's what the worship leadership at Central saw. 
Afterwards at dinner at Pogue Mahones (which is Irish for "Kiss My Butt"), the local pub near Central, I met and talked to one of Central's amazing cell leaders and shared this all with her and she shared with me her vision and calling and how she's been going through death to her will also.  It was a great meet!  We were both blessed by each other's testimonies and likenesses.  Good times!
Only when we die to ourselves, can we really, fully, live for God.

'Cause You Gotta Have Faith

"The Lord your God Who goes before you will Himself fight for you. He did this for you in Egypt in front of your eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way you have walked until you came to this place.'
Deuteronomy 1:30-31 (NLV)
"But now that you're here, you won't trust God, your God— this same God who goes ahead of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go." 32-33 (The Message)

I have, recently, decided to read the Bible front to back again and in doing so have just come upon a juicy little tidbit in the studious book of Deuteronomy.

"No," you might say, "not in Deuteronomy!"

But, "Yes!" I reply, "in Deuteronomy!"

I can very much relate to this scripture. You see, in preparations for my departure to Australia to go to Bible college in the new year, there have been doubts, fears, worries, anxieties, frustrations, and, well, you get the picture.

God has brought me through so, so much, and he has always been good to me. He has always followed through, and he's redeemed to me all the things that I have lost, and in his typical fashion, when he redeems, he does it and then some.

I have come to a place where God is trying to bring me into a greater level in my life, and I am saying "Are you sure about this God? This is scary, what if I can't pull it off? What if you can't pull it off?"  I like how The Message puts verses 32 and 33 in a present tense, whereas most other translations do it in the past tense. It just sticks to me better.

Check this out:

"God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?"
Numbers 23:19 (NLT)

God is not going to put a promise in my heart, a fire in my belly, an unyielding desire to do this, without following through for me. The Bible says also that he will give us the desires of our heart:

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

I believe in this, I really do! And I believe that he enjoys giving us those desires! I also believe that God often puts desires into our hearts for things. Now, obviously, not every desire in our heart is from God, as our hearts are prone to corruption and to bend to the desires of our flesh, but I do believe that God made every part of us for a reason. He knows what our hearts want, and he knows what he wants for our lives and the way that we tend to live our lives based on the desires of our hearts. Wouldn't it make sense for him to put certain desires there for us to find so that we live the life he plans for us to live? I think so!

I encourage anyone reading this who is struggling with faith, or just needs some encouragement to remember the words of this blog tonight, and also to remember this verse:

"And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed"
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV)

Transition to another Matt - Transition to another blog

This is just a post, to all and any who read this blog, that I am discontinuing this blog, as my life in Toronto is coming to a close, and my life in Australia is soon to start.  I will no longer be posting updates on my life here.  I will be posting thought blogs and things like that, however.

I leave in four months, and this shift in my life is my forefront focus.

As this is such, a new blog is in order!

Come visit my new blog, I pray you, to learn about the wondrous and wacky life of...

 Matt in the Outback

I have their acceptance, they have my deposit, we have much to do...

So... As it stands today, I am officially enrolled at the Hillsong International Leadership College for the Diploma of Ministry in Worship & Creative Arts.  It is a two year program, which starts in February of next year, and which I will finish in December of 09.

I have sent them the money sufficient enough to pay for my first semester of schooling and the necessary health insurance for two years of stay in Australia as an overseas student.  

Now, it's real...

There is still much to do, oh...  so much to do!

I am working with OSAP and need to send them some documents, one of them being a document that...  I need to fill out half of and send to Australia for them to fill out the rest.

I also need to:

• Get my passport
• After obtaining my passport, apply for my Australian VISA
• Save some money
• Apply for accommodation
• Write up and send out fundraising letters
• Pray...  A LOT!
• Plan a going away party at the end of the year, or possibly at the beginning of next
• Book my plain ticket
• Get rid of my cell phone and remaining contract time (any takers?)
• Make the appropriate doctors' appointments
• Get my G2 before leaving the country
• Buy a bunch of stuff that I will need for life in Sydney

And who knows what else I've forgotten...  

*Oh right, pack up my entire life and fly away to the land down under!

So, to wrap it up, pray for me and read this blog often.  I will post pictures, videos?, anecdotes, and all things me in Australia in this blog, so keep on reading.  Same Matt-Time, same Matt-Channel!

Friendship Good!

So, I know that I've already talked about fellowship and community within the church and it's importance and stuff, but I kind of wanted to do something along those lines, but more specific. I want to talk about friendship. It's not really a bible study topic, I know, but it's really important to me, and the bible actually does have quite a bit to say about it.
Friendship was God's idea.

"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone."
Genesis 2:18a (NIV)

Okay, okay, for all you sticklers out there, (strictly) the context of this verse is that Adam needed a "helper" (the second half of the verse being "I will make a helper suitable for him"), that's where woman (Eve) came around. Not the point I'm making here. The point is that, yes, Adam needed a helper, but, it still isn't good for man to be alone! The verse isn't stated "It is not good for man to do all the gardening alone", it is "it is not good for the man to be alone."
Now, you may ask me to prove how that connects to God making friendship and all, and I will do using logic! Logic, by the way, not actually of the devil : P
God is all knowing, omniscient, the universe mapped out and all things known forever, amen? Also, God knew what he was doing when he created Adam, he knew that he would need to create a helper, he knew that he was creating a man whom it would not be good for to be alone. Hence (I love using that word!), God created man to be with others! HA HA! Prove me wrong!
I thought so...!
Anyway, back to friendship. It was God's idea. God is friends with himself, our incredibly complex, yet utterly simple God of three in one, is friends with himself. I'm not going too deeply into discussion on the dynamics of the trinity, but God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He is one God, expressed and shown in those three forms. That is how I understand it. God is perfect, and that perfection and the relationship of oneness in the trinity causes me, and the twenty years of growing-up-in-the-church theology have taught me, tell me that God has perfect fellowship with himself in his tri-nature. Make sense? Sort of right?
Okay, on to my next point. Hopefully I have one, and hopefully it makes clearer sense than my previous ones!
Biblical examples that prove God is big on friendship:

"So the LORD spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend."
Exodus 33:11a (NKJV)


"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend."
Job 16:19-21 (NIV)

" He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend."
Provers 22:11 (NIV)

"But you, O Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, you descendants of Abraham my friend,"
Isaiah 41:8 (NIV)

Jesus often referred to the person he spoke to as "Friend". I think he likes the word.
Anyway, while I do believe that God is our greatest friend, and that he should be out first priority in terms of friends, for this particular post, I want to talk about person to person friendships.
I have been so blessed in the past oh, two and a half months or so, to be able to meet and spend some time with some of the amazing people I have been. I have met and gotten to know so many people at TACF Central and have joined a great cell group with great cell leaders. Many people at Central feel like friends. I also love my Hillstreams friends! I have friends from all different walks of life and of different ages and races, personality types and other differences. I am so blessed by these people! I just wanted to write this to encourage anyone who reads this, if anyone reads this, that friendships are good! Pursue them! I need more friendships, and deeper friendships, and God is so good to give me those things and bless me that way, so be encouraged also if you feel that you lack friendship(s)!
I don't know where I wanted to go with this, all I know is that I feel in my spirit a real yearning to grow in my friendships, and to write about friendship tonight. Refer to my post about community and fellowship entitled "Will you keep me warm tonight? And I mean that in a purely platonic way" or something like that. There's more clarification of the benefit of friendships and why we need them in there!

Home Is Where My Guitar Is

Well, it has been about a week. I was up at a rental cottage for the week with a whole bunch of family, and while I did, rest assured, throughly enjoy myself; I am glad to be home!
The weather wasn't great though. A little chilly and mostly overcast, but such is life. It was relaxing. I didn't think about money or the future or church business or anything like that, just lived a lazy life for a week, that is, a lazier life than I normally do.
I ate lots of food and snacks, did a lot of swimming (we were right on the lake), watched some movies, hung out with family I haven't seen a long time, and played a lot of cards. Card games are big in my family. I lost twelve dollars in poker! I thought I would win, each time. Don't you always think you are going to win though? Even if just a little bit, you always think, "I could win this."
All and all good times. I am back in the city now, and happy to be home! There was no room for my precious guitar! Oh my Taylor! How I missed you!
It was weird not to be able to call people I normally call during the week, or email people I normally email. The void of facebook interaction was strange and frightening at times, but at other times, this disconnectedness proved relaxing and restful. While I do like being able to be contacted through the entirety of my waking day, there is something to be said for taking time to yourself where you are shut off from the world. I think this is one of the reasons why people love going to cottages. You can go away, to a small, remote place, where the only thing to do is relax and run a lazy life of lethargy by the lake. Sip beers and eat chips. Swim and nap. Lay low and spend quality time with friends or family. On top of all this, you don't have to worry about work, or school, or activities, or anything of the sort for the week. You just let go. I think that we all need to have a let go session every once in a while. For me this week was a little long. I missed the "city things" and conveinces that I'm used to. Flushing your pee, talking on the phone, surfing the internet, writing blogs, using as much water as you like, Starbucks, and etc.. I would have liked a good four days, I think that works for me.
If you are reading this, I encourage you to try and see if you can take a little vacation time this summer. It may just be a weekend, or a long weekend, or a week, or whatever. Do something for yourself, go somewhere, be shut off. Go with friends or family, and just relax. It does a soul good.

Until next...

Relaxation, I Visit You Again!

Well, tomorrow aft I leave for a week of relaxation. Every year, for the past seven, we have gotten together with much of my Mom's family and all squeezed into a cottage up in Muskoka. It has grown into a family tradition, and a highpoint of the summer for all us Lingard spawned families (gosh that sounds weird, "Lingard spawned").
It will be good. I am purposely using this week to let go of the stress I've been carrying recently. My concerns about work, Australia, church, home, and all things in my life are being put aside. The only thing I'm going to worry about is not getting a sunburn, and trying to get along with certain family members.
I really feel that this also is a time for me to spend some great intimate time with God. I feel that he's been saying, "Take this week and spend time with me. Use it to reconnect and go deeper, to spend a week with me. You won't have any schedules or commitments or activities to stop you, to put priority in over me, so press into me."
It will be nice just pushing a boat out and going into the middle of the lake, and spend some alone time in this nature just praying and talking to God. Nothing to distract me. Take a canoe out onto the lake, and take a look around at God's creation, at the glorious nature he's created for us. I just got a nice new little bible, I left my old one at the wedding hall from when I read at my friends Johnny and Elaina's wedding. I also have the Message, which is good for reading and getting another perspective on the verses from. I have a couple cool books from TACF to read for church, so lots of things to read about God and things to learn from for my walk with him. I will probably not get to spend as much time with God as I plan, nothing ever works out as planned, but I will have more opportunities to, and I plan to use them more than I have been recently, and more than I could if I was here in Toronto, working out life and necessities. I am so looking forward to it!
Also, my Aunt and three gorgeous little cousins are here from Alberta for the week! The girls are so much bigger and older than the last time I saw them. Hope is 10, Mally is 6, and Ella is 3. I saw them last about 2 years ago, and a year ago before that. Kids grow up so quickly!
So yes, there are many great things to look forward to for the week, and I am. It will be fun. I will miss all my friends here in Toronto, and I will not be able to check email, or facebook (aaaaah!), or anything like that until next Saturday. But this is good! I'm not even bringing my laptop to play with! Computers and internet, consider yourself one week forsaken!
Take care 'til then, and God Bless, may this time away from me bring us closer as the saying goes! haha!
I will post a blog after the cottage, I will have much to say and report!
Ta!

Oh... My... God... - The Story of My Taylor Guitar

Please don't ask me why, but it never occurred to me until just recently to post the story of how I received my Taylor Guitar. However, it has now occurred to me to do such a thing, and here I am doing it. Now, I do thoroughly enjoy every opportunity I get to tell the story, especially considering the greatness and testimony of it. The best though, is people's reactions. When I started telling it to some friends recently, one interrupted me at the beginning and said, "Don't tell me you got a Taylor! If you got a Taylor I WILL SPIT!" I'm still waiting to see her spit. Such is the greatness of the guitar, and its story that this is the type of reaction I have almost come to expect (although not to such an interesting challenge of a reaction, I think she expected me to say no).

So, why not start at the beginning of my musicianship as a guitar player? Don't worry, it's not that long.
I started playing guitar in the winter of 2002. I had just started going to Hillstreams, and everyone cool played guitar. Being sixteen years old, and wanting to be cool like these people, and being generally interested in this whole guitar malarky (credit to Mark Hardy on the word malarky by the way!), I went to my grandfather, who is a guitar player and asked if I could start to learn on his guitar. He was happy to oblige. I would go next door (where he lived at the time) and sit in the basement with his 1952 Gretsch Chet Atkins Tennessean (which by the way is an awesome antic). It was easy enough on the fingers, so I could play for a couple hours at a time and be fine, and I did. I started writing when I could first put two chords together. My first song was about waiting for the cable guy to come fix your cable so you wouldn't have to miss all your favourite shows (it was a terrible song). I then found out that a friend of mine had sold his guitar to a local guitar shop, it was a ten year old acoustic made by a company called Simon & Patrick (local to Quebec). It was a good enough guitar for the time. Simon & Patrick's guitars are for the most part low to middle end, and I loved that guitar and played it all the time. I got the first hundred dollars from my cousin Melissa who was oh so kind to do it, even though I offered to pay her back. My parents couldn't afford it at the time. So I put that down and made $50 payments every month until I had payed the whole thing. It was only about $300. After a couple months though, my dad got real tired of driving me to the guitar store over and over again just to make these little payments. So my parents bought it out. I had that guitar for about three and a half years. I was one day hanging out and playing guitar with my oh so wonderful friend John Gillard, and he asked to see my guitar. I handed it to him, where he looked it over, and discovered a major flaw. A flaw that the guitar had come upon over time that would crush my heart and cause me to give up playing that guitar for fear of having it break in my hands while playing. You see, the neck of the guitar was lifting, quite significantly off the body of it. It was quite bad for the guitar, and the pressure that the strings put on the neck would only make it worse over time. To get it fixed would be expensive, and pointless as the cost of the procedure would be more than the final worth of the guitar, it already had an amateurishly repaired crack in the top that was totally visible, and ugly. It was just over all, in crap-ass shape. So I loosened the strings and put it in its case, not having any other thing I could really do.
For seven months I had no guitar to play. In this time I researched guitars, prayed for God to do something, talked to friends, and mourned the loss of my six stringed friend. Now, I will NOT say that this was seven months for the worse. God taught me so so much in this time. I had learnt to come to depend on my guitar to express myself and push forth in worship. As I took time away from my guitar, I learnt that I could worship without having to play. I grew with God in deeper levels of worship. It was changed my worship life.
Now, if you know guitars, then you know that Taylor makes excellent quality guitars that are of the top calibre of guitar brands. Well, they have different series of guitars, each more expensive then the last. From the 100 series to the 900 series. The first series of guitar that is of quality is the 300 series. I prayed and prayed and sowed for a 314ce.

One Week.
One Month.
Two Months.
Three Months.
Four Months.
Five Months.
Six Months.
Seven Months.

Now, as cool as it would've been, the guitar did not appear out of thin air. Even better, it was the result of a fiendishly clever, loving, Godly, handsome, and already mentioned gifted man's hard work along side with the contributions of many friends and my family. Mr John Thomas Gillard, my guitar hero. He had, behind my back, with the help of many close and loving friends and family members been researching the guitar I wanted, looking at listings and praying for God to show him to make this happen. It was a faith stretcher for him, but it ended up being a faith grower as well. Sufficed to say, it was very much that for me.
So seven months had passed. It was just a normal day. I was coming home from work and just entered the house. Tired, a little frustrated, and wanting to shower and nap, I proceed to my bedroom. Now, I forget to mention that I had told my friends about a dream I had had where I came home and found a guitar on my bed with a red bow on it.
I walk in to my room. This is me:
My exact words in this picture are "What is this?"
I was in shock. Especially when I saw the emblem on the side of the case that looked like this:

BA BA BA! (not sure if that is the right way to phoneticize that sound effect, heh)

Now, I am a man, and I don't cry, like ever. But I wept. Openly and like a child. There is videotape of it. Yes, I was secretly videotaped. I wept and wept in disbelief in shock.
"How did this happen?" I asked, for I knew my parents could so NOT have afforded it.
"Johnny did this," my mom said.
"Johnny did this?"
"Yes, Johnny arranged it all with your friends."
The pieces were starting to fall into place, my mom had recently cleaned up my room and cleared the phone list without reason to me, which were strange and uncommon things to do, especially without explanation.
"Read the card," mom says.
I open the envelope on top the guitar and begin to read the card, only causing me to weep more in reading the little notes and signatures of some of my closest friends. I sent Johnny a test message saying I need to see him PRONTO (and called him a jerk).
And it was mine. It was better than a 314ce. It was a 314ce L7. A limited edition. Instead of the body wood being a common one used in the 300 series it is a rare wood used only in the limited edition, called Tasmanian Blackwood. It was beautiful (check out my facebook pictures of it). I talked to Johnny the next day. He told me more about how it all came together. It was owned by a former worship leader. He bought it new a few months before he sold it to Johnny.
This guitar is everything I've ever wanted in a guitar. It is mine, truly. I know it may sound silly, but I really do feel a kindred of spirits with this guitar. When I look at it, when I hold it, when I play it, I know it is mine. I know it was made for me. I know that there is something about it, something in it, that is also in me. It is anointed. It is holy. It is a warfare instrument. It is a symbol of joy and power and worship and God's goodness and glory. It's beauty alone is awe-inspiring. That was September 26th, 2006, one of the best of my life, and one I will not soon forget.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of my Taylor guitar.

An Update of the Times

Good day reader! This is a little update of sorts as there has been much going on and little online telling of it! I also decided to finally put up the story of how I received my Taylor guitar last year, as I just realized that I have not yet put it online! Look for that in the next post!
So, to the update!
Well, after much, much, much soul-searching, researching, thinking, and praying I have decided that I feel God, and my heart, are leading me to a life in ministry. After leaving Centennial College's Child and Youth Worker Program for many reasons, but primarily that things just seemed to add up to it not being right for me, for me not to be continuing there. I felt that I had no other choice, and can't really go into all the reasons why. Sufficed to say, I'm not there anymore, I took the year off to figure out the reasons why things went down the way they did, and what I am going to do now. I worked, and worked, and worked, and was going on with my regular other business with church and such, and just taking it easy. Well, after doing some reading, and thinking, and etc., I've come to do a place, like I said, where I feel led to ministry. I want to do worship, for a profession. It is where my heart is, to see the people of God press in deeper and see growth and change in worship. I want for the church to experience a fuller, deeper, more intimate, more glorious worship. I want to help churches who need more of that. I want to help churches to train up their teams, deal with their problems in worship, plan conferences, write songs, record albums, and be a consultant of sorts to help churches get from where they are in worship, to a new place and stay that way.
So, after coming to a glimpse of this, I thought to my self, "Self, I should go and do some schooling to be really equipped to do just this!"
I looked at different schools in the GTA, different programs and etc.. I looked at TACF's School of Ministry, and some other Christian College programs. Nothing really took me, until...
I don't know how it came to me to look into going to Australia, but some how it did. I found the Hillsong Church's International Leadership College, which is AWESOME. So, I looked at the info, and did some research, and prayed and thought about it. You know, nothing really appealed to me like this did. It was the only school that "made my baby jump."
I've decided, logically, to go into the stream of Worship & the Creative Arts (specifically music). They have three programs, a one year Certificate IV, a two year Diploma, or a three year Advanced Diploma in Ministry. I decided on the two year diploma, it just felt best. I may stay and apply for the third year for the Advanced Diploma, not sure yet. So yeah, I leave in January, and can't be more excited.

I'm still at Hillstreams Christian Fellowship in Markham, my home, my primary church. I've been also attending the Sunday night TACF (Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship) Central site church too. It's a young adult church which is AWESOME! I love it, it's great because I don't have many young adult peers at Hillstreams. It's been great, great people. I've joined a cell group and have awesome cell leaders! (Shout out to Mark and Bethany if you read this! WHOOP WHOOP!)

I quit Starbucks, like just last week. Which is good. I'm kinda relieved actually, even though I have nothing lined up yet. But God is good, and has given me great peace about it. I was talking to someone and he asked me "are you scared?"
"No," I answered.
"Are you scared that you're not scared?"
"Actually, yes, I am."
So yeah, I'm not really scared, but I'm kinda scared about not being scared, I mean, I have bills to pay, and no job, but hey, God is big enough to take care of me, and I feel that he is behind me with this, so worry I will not!

I'm leaving for a week this Saturday, we're going up to a cottage we rent from some friends of friends every year. We get the entire family together and all pour into this little cottage on the lake. It's lots of fun, I'm looking forward to it. It will be a good time and a great chance to connect with God in a new place and just relax and spend some time with him, and with family.

That's pretty much it for the update...

Ciao!

Goodness Unprecendented

So, just an update on how amazingly good God is to me:

I have been formally accepted to the Hillsong International Leadership College of the Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia.
I have never felt his ever present love, affection, and fathering then I have in the past few weeks.
Neither have I ever experienced the presence and power of Holy Spirit like I recently have.
People have been speaking some really cool and encouraging things over me, and I'm just filled with joy and contentment.
A sense of confidence, sonship, authority, and love like none other has been living in me. It's amazing. I keep stepping back and praying "God, I love this. You are so good! Please tell me this isn't a temporary thing. Please tell me I can walk in this every day."
I've been so blessed recently in my spiritual life. As I've been seeking him, praying through the day, worshipping through the day, and other things for him, he's been healing things and growing things inside my heart. It was part of a promise to me he made. Thank you Lord that you are faithful to fulfil every promise he makes to us. It reminds me of the verse in Matthew (Good book ;-) ) 6, verse 33 where Jesus says "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Now, in the context that Jesus is referring to, he's talking about our needs (specifically clothing and food), but I believe that there's more to it than that. I believe that God provides for all our needs as we seek him first. I think that includes spiritual and emotional as well, and God always provides in abundance. God has always given me more than enough, he's never stingy or frugal in his provision. He is an abundant God, who provides for us in abundance!

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
Phillipians 4:19 (NKJV)


Now, according to this verse, we see that God provides for us according to what he has access to, his supply. God's supply is endless and full to overflowing. So based upon these two verses we can say this: God provides all our needs abundantly, according to his riches, as we seek his kingdom first.
Am I wrong?

Thank you Jesus!

Prayer is life!

"if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."
2nd Chronicles 7:14 (ESV)

So, today being the Global Day of Prayer, and me having enjoyed the Toronto GDOP, I have decided that tonight's study will be on prayer! Good times!

Healing of the land, cleansing of sin, bringing of miracles, healing, all these things are more, they come from prayer.

I went to biblegateway.com (which is, by the by, awesometastic! It is where I pull all the different translations I use for these studies [there, my secret is out]), and searched for the word 'pray' and was returned with 365 results (in the NIV). Interesting, very interesting. There are, am I wrong, 365 days in a year? Coincidence? Yeah, probably, just pulling your leg!
Anyway, back to the point! God is big on prayer! Literally (you can look it up!) from Genesis to Revelation, the word 'pray' is used! And, based on the whole 365 times things, I'd say it's used pretty liberally. Which is good!
God is big on prayer! He is very big on prayer! He, as my new friend Chris would say, digs it large! (Chris if you're reading this, love ya buddy!)
Prayer is our communication with God! It is the walkie talkie that we both have.
Remember when you were a kid, and you would poke a hole in the bottom of two plastic cups, and tie in a string, one end into each cup, and use them like telephones? That is a PERFECT analogy of prayer in my opinion. Prayer is our direct line to God! We have one cup, he's got the other!
If you don't pray, you are not talking to God, and you are not hearing from God. A man who was praying at the GDOP tonight said something so truthful, so simple, yet so mysterious and lost by a lot of people, "prayer is a two-way communication." A lot of people think that prayer is one-way, just us to him. But the truth is is that he is talking back! We often just do not listen, are talking too much ourselves, or do not know his voice! And sometimes we have things that block us from hearing from him. Guilt from sin, distracting thoughts, a lack of passion, mental blocks, oppressions of the mind, and other things.

"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

This is a favourite verse of my Pastor's, and he's talked about it a few times before. This is the breakdown:

Faith comes by hearing hearing = faith
hearing comes by the word word = hearing

word --> hearing --> faith

Do you find your faith is weak? It's because you're not hearing from God eh? And you don't know why?

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word God

Not reading the word? Well, there's the problem right there!

You know, as they do, this study is getting a little long, so I will wrap it up (sort of) with this. I struggle with reading the bible regularly, I struggle with it a lot. I don't read it nearly enough as I want, or need to. I take it in at church services, at cell groups, from friends who speak it, and when I do these studies, and that is something, but it's not nearly enough. I pray to God that he will grow in me a desire for his word! It's hard! I really just need to make it a priority. I was talking recently with some fellow guys about building God's house, and about how our priorities tend to be on building our house before his, and how that makes me feel (which is sad).  My life is about building God's house! I want to live full time a life of servitude for his house because I love him, love his house, love his people, love his lost sheep, and I love just the act of it! But I need to get my priorities straight in my day-to-day routine. God give me strength!
I encourage you reader, to press forth, to pray, to seek God, to crave his word like a fine food, and to dive into time with him fervently. Do not lose heart! And lift up your fellow Christian! Someone lift me up! Pray with me about prayer, pray with me about the word! There is so much power in these things.

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."
James 5:16 (NKJV)

Healing of the land, cleansing of sin, bringing of miracles, healing, all these things and more, they come from prayer.

Care to get your feet wet?

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them. They were scared of of their wits. "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror. But Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid."
Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come ahead."
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"
Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?"
Matthew 14:24-31, The Message

I've been thinking about this recently. I think that this is an excellent demonstration of the grace of God. Notice that it's Peter, who seems to say, in doubt, "if it's really you..." who is the one to step out on to water. But his faith in Jesus is so great that he trusts this form that seems to be Jesus. I can just imagine what it would be like to take a step or two out of the boat, on to the rocky sea. Can you? I would be freaked out with joy and encouraged by experiencing the power of faith! Faith in Jesus is so powerful it can defy the rules of physics! Oh Lord grow our faith in you!
But then, sigh, we see doubt's power to quench faith. "But when we looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink."
We see here the power that doubt has. It's all in our minds! As you see, the power to do great exploits, to make miracles happen! It all comes to our faith!

Stay with me here! What I'm getting at is this: God can not work with doubt-filled minds! But with faith-filled minds, he can do anything!
So I encourage you reader... If Jesus asks you to step out of the boat, on to the rocky sea, the best that can happen is you will walk on those waves. And the worst is that he will pull you up from the water, and you'll need a change of clothes!

From May 14/07

That's Prince Matt to You...

G'Day everybody! Pardon me, the odd Australian will pop in, I'm preparing to move there in the new year, and I just can't help myself but to interject a phrase or two here or there; but let's throw some shrimps on the barby and get on with tonight's study!
Soooo..... this morning at church, my lovely Pastor's wife, and my "church mom", spoke on our identity in Christ, mainly on how Satan tries to steal it. I Love Love Love these sermons because identity is something I have passion for. I love it when preachers, or whomever, speak on God given authority and things of the like because it so resonates in me. Let me give you a little insight as to why...
When I was a kid, I was picked on pretty bad at school because of very stupid, surface reasons. I was racially targeted and publicly humiliated and harassed constantly. This went on for about five years of my life, from grade three to grade eight. I have no shame in talking about it, and I've moved on and forgiven and am strong now, so I can continue to tell you even more why this is relevant.
For about five years I was constantly attacked on my worth, my intelligence, my appearance, my beliefs, my everything. Every thing that could be made fun, was. So sufficed to say, I became very depressed for a few years. Depression that lasted halfway through my teens! I had been out of harassment for three years before the depression was finally broken! So, the point of this is that my view of my value and identity were horribly, horribly skewed! I believed many horrible lies about myself and had serious self-esteem issues!
It wasn't until probably about a year or so ago that I really, really started to get a hold of what it meant to be a Man of God. This is still something I'm growing in, please don't allow yourself to believe that I would actually assume myself fully grown in the sight of God and in confidence and identity as a Man of God at twenty years old. So, yes, only about a year ago did I start to get it. The Bible says that God is King, God is Creator, God is Saviour, God is Healer, God is Redeemer, God is Father, God is Friend, etc., etc.. And the Bible also says that We are his children, his creation, his servants, his bride, his called and chosen ones, etc., etc.. BUT, this is something that few people actually have deep down in their hearts! Few members of the body of Christ actually realize what this means and what it entitles us to!
Let me tell you what it means!
First, this verse:

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
Matthew 28:18 (NIV)

now, check THIS out:

"When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases,"
Luke 9:1 (TNIV)

So.... Jesus had all authority in heaven and on earth. I think we need to go and emphasize a few words there. Here it is as I believe it should be read

"Then Jesus came to them and said 'ALL authority in Heaven AND on earth has been GIVEN to me."

A note, when the word "all" is used in the bible, it really does mean all. Meaning there is no exception or anything else. All is All.

Okay, so what I'm trying to get at is that the Holy Spirit that dwelled in and on Jesus now lives in us through Salvation by his blood. But you may say, "Oh that's not true, Jesus was different!" But moowahahahaa, I will prove you wrong with the word of God! Okay: First, Jesus is born of the Holy Spirit, and second, God sent his Holy Spirit to be with Jesus through Baptism:

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit."
Matthew 1:18 (NIV)

"and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."
Luke 3:22 (NIV)

Okay, now, the Bible also says that we receive the Holy Spirit. John the Baptist said, "I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire." Luke 3:16 (NIV).

And then Pentecost came and people were baptized with the Holy Spirit, which still goes on today. It is this Holy Spirit that is the power that casts out demons and heals the sick and raises dead, etc..
So, to wrap things up, because I spent a whole lot of time just setting this up...

We are sons/daughters of the Most High, Almighty God!
We are heirs to the highest throne!
We are Princes/Princesses to the King of All Creation!
We are friends of the Lord God who reigns!
We are created in his image!
We have received HIS Holy Spirit!

WALK IN THAT! Don't let anyone or anything take that from you!
Demons will come at you and attack your value, attack your worth, attack your everything, but you can tell them "shut up in the name of Jesus, I am a son of Most High Almighty God, an heir to the highest throne, etc., etc..
I love this kind of stuff, because to go for so long feeling like nothing, to go to such security and love and authority of being something, and what a something, is awesome and life changing.