I don't know, but I've been thinking about it. The future that is, if that wasn't made clear by the title of this blog.
I'm in an interesting phase in life right now. I'm working full time at a job I enjoy and kind of, well, "coasting". I was looking into moving out a while ago and couldn't yet afford it. I suspect I'll be looking into it again in the new year. I've also been thinking about and researching going back to school over the past month or so. I've been looking into a degree in Communication Arts, but I'm not yet certain it's what I want to do. While I find it interesting and wouldn't mind a career in some kind of creative marketing/public relations/customer service management type of position, I'm just not really sure that it's the right thing for me. It's really just the most attractive route for schooling and career in the world I can see at the moment. I suspect this will change also. I'd like to know what I'd like to do soon, because if I am going back to school, I'd like to do it next September. I've also been thinking and praying (and made a tentative decision) about something in my future that only two people know about, and I'm afraid that this will have to be a bit of a cliffhanger until later in time when this thing arises.
The biggest dilemmas are these: I don't know what exactly I want to study/pursue, and I'm still in debt from the last thing(s) I tried to pursue. I do believe it's God plan to redeem that debt (can I get an Amen?), but I'm lost as to his timing. I just know that I want to be back in school. It's exciting and fun. You're working toward something for your future and learning about something that you (hopefully) have interest in. A big part of me really just wants to do it to have that experience under my belt (where does that expression even come from I wonder? I'll have to look it up...) and have that degree. I've almost always wanted to have a degree or special knowledge in something. It's one of the reasons (perhaps the biggest) that I respect doctors, especially specialist doctors. I mean, how cool would it be to possess a significantly greater knowledge and skill level in something than say, 99% of the population? Pretty cool, I think.
Anyway, this ramble has gone on long enough.
Go on now, leave your thoughts and questions and random diversions from everyday life in response!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Repentance
Repentance is an interesting thing.
I've been thinking a bit recently on repentance. After doing some repenting to God, I heard him say this, "Matthew, do you think that it's your repentance that removes your sins?"
An interesting thought, no?
It's always been my understanding that, even if you're a Christian, if you sin, you need to repent to have that sin forgiven. As though there's a tally in heaven that gets recorded with each sin I sin, and then wiped after each time I repent.
I don't think this is true though. If is this so, then it wouldn't be by faith in grace that we are saved and freed from sin (because to be saved [meaning going to heaven] you have to be free of sin) but by works in faith in grace that we're saved, and that's rubbish.
I remember one time, going to listen to some worship music with my sin on my mind, (I always find it awkward to try and do anything with God or God-involved with my sin on my mind) I thought to myself, "I can't listen to worship, I have un-repented for sin." And the still small voice says, "No you don't. I've forgiven you of that." I was surprised, because, like I said, I thought you had to repent to be forgiven, and so I pointed this out to God. He replied something to the effect of, "Your repentance is in your heart, and that's enough for me. You've been forgiven."
I thought, "Hmm, well that's interesting. Okay then."
So, to tie these two things together. Here's what I think.
I think that all my sin, past, present, & future, was wiped away at the cross. The Bible says that I've always been seen as blameless before God because I was to choose the reconciliation of the cross (Ephesians 1:4). But it's because my heart was in a state of knowing repentance when I accepted Christ's sacrifice, and because I default to a humbled state of repentance in my heart that God is able to acknowledge me as clean of sin. It's not that I tell my heart to be repentance, it's not an act I choose, it's because I love him. I think that's the key. Your love for him is what will bring you back to a heart of repentance. I do choose to love him, so to speak, but more so, I can't help but love him. It's really interesting, and I'm not even sure I fully understand it all, or anything I've said thus far. But I do understand this: regardless of what I do, he still loves me, and he's still forgiven me.
I've been struggling with really feeling and knowing that recently, a lot, to be honest. I do still know it. Somewhere, I know it, and I'll always know it. You can't know it, truly know it, and then deny it. Nothing is more true, nothing is more secure, nothing is more eternal than the love of God.
I've been thinking a bit recently on repentance. After doing some repenting to God, I heard him say this, "Matthew, do you think that it's your repentance that removes your sins?"
An interesting thought, no?
It's always been my understanding that, even if you're a Christian, if you sin, you need to repent to have that sin forgiven. As though there's a tally in heaven that gets recorded with each sin I sin, and then wiped after each time I repent.
I don't think this is true though. If is this so, then it wouldn't be by faith in grace that we are saved and freed from sin (because to be saved [meaning going to heaven] you have to be free of sin) but by works in faith in grace that we're saved, and that's rubbish.
I remember one time, going to listen to some worship music with my sin on my mind, (I always find it awkward to try and do anything with God or God-involved with my sin on my mind) I thought to myself, "I can't listen to worship, I have un-repented for sin." And the still small voice says, "No you don't. I've forgiven you of that." I was surprised, because, like I said, I thought you had to repent to be forgiven, and so I pointed this out to God. He replied something to the effect of, "Your repentance is in your heart, and that's enough for me. You've been forgiven."
I thought, "Hmm, well that's interesting. Okay then."
So, to tie these two things together. Here's what I think.
I think that all my sin, past, present, & future, was wiped away at the cross. The Bible says that I've always been seen as blameless before God because I was to choose the reconciliation of the cross (Ephesians 1:4). But it's because my heart was in a state of knowing repentance when I accepted Christ's sacrifice, and because I default to a humbled state of repentance in my heart that God is able to acknowledge me as clean of sin. It's not that I tell my heart to be repentance, it's not an act I choose, it's because I love him. I think that's the key. Your love for him is what will bring you back to a heart of repentance. I do choose to love him, so to speak, but more so, I can't help but love him. It's really interesting, and I'm not even sure I fully understand it all, or anything I've said thus far. But I do understand this: regardless of what I do, he still loves me, and he's still forgiven me.
I've been struggling with really feeling and knowing that recently, a lot, to be honest. I do still know it. Somewhere, I know it, and I'll always know it. You can't know it, truly know it, and then deny it. Nothing is more true, nothing is more secure, nothing is more eternal than the love of God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)